Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
“If you hadn’t left, we wouldn’t be here now, would we?” he tells me softly as he pets my hair with long strokes. It’s relaxing, lulling me to sleep until he adds, “It’s fate. Things are meant to happen a certain way.”
I shake my head, hating his explanation and wanting to shove his hand away, but knowing not to reach up. Fate. Fate would mean Marie was meant to die.
“Please hold me,” I beg him and it reminds me of the first time he ever held me. The first time we both knew we needed each other too desperately to ignore. Before I can add that I’ll take the consequences, whatever they may be, he lies on the bed, making it dip and groan with his weight.
“For a minute,” Jay says and my heart hurts all over again. But at least I have one minute. Just one to hold on to him.
Chapter 18
Jay
Twenty years ago
“If I made a deal with her, do you think she’d hit you?” my father asks me as I sit in the steel chair across the room from him. My body shakes from the cold. My clothes are soaked, and the tips of my fingers are numb.
A deal… is he finally going to let her go?
“I think she would. She wants to leave more than anything,” he says more to himself than to me. I’m afraid to look at him. Afraid that if I do, he’ll tell her to do it.
My little bird.
She’s the only good thing in my world. The only purpose I have in life.
Do I think she’d strike me?
Yes.
She’d do anything to leave, and the thought shreds me. I could see him over her shoulder, whispering promises of freedom if only she’ll listen to him. Just like he did to me for so long.
“Are you letting her go?” I ask him, and the words tremble from my lips.
A rough dry laugh fills the small chamber as he throws a towel at me. It’s small and thin, but it’s something. I keep my movements slow as he paces, still not looking him in the eyes. One day I’ll be stronger than him. One day I’ll kill him for what he’s done.
But he likes to show me how weak I am, and he’s right. I’m no one compared to him.
The rough towel drags over my skin, drying it as he says, “No, of course not.”
He clears his throat, and I chance a look up at him as he stares at the back wall. He turns to look at me ever so slowly, and holds my gaze. My own eyes stare back at me. “She’s too important, boy. And I have so many plans for her.”
His words echo in my head, over and over. Through the screaming of the next session, through the sound of my feet pattering on the cold floor as he takes me back to her.
I only know two things to be true.
If she leaves, I’d rather kill myself than live another day.
And I need to get her out of here.
I promise I’ll find a way out.
* * *
I wake up to my heart racing and my body feeling like ice. I stay still, perfectly motionless with my body tense. There’s a thin layer of cold sweat covering me. The nightmares always feel so real. Like it just happened. Like I was back with him, helpless and stuck in that fucking chamber. It’s only after a moment of calming my breathing that I feel her warmth as she stirs beside me.
My little bird. For a moment it makes me feel like I’m back there again, back in the room and I’m quick to look around. But we’re on a bed, a comfortable one with sheets and a blanket. She’s with me though; she came down here to sleep with me.
I open my eyes and peek at Toby, fast asleep by the open door. He’s huddled in a ball and even he didn’t wake this time. I turn over onto my side and pull her small body closer to me. I kiss the crook of her neck and look up, staring at the wall and the camera. It’s off, but it’s there, staring back at me.
Not only watching me, but it’s watching her, too.
I don’t want her here at night. It’s too real with her in my arms. I whisper into the stale air, loving the feel of her soft body in my arms, “I'll always protect you, little bird.”
The moment the words leave me, Robin stirs next to me, opening her weary eyes. They’re still red-rimmed from earlier, and I know she’s tired. No one is sleeping in this house. I give her a worn out smile and push the hair from her face.
“You left me,” she whispers. I shake my head, denying it. Never. I’ll never leave her. The accusation in her voice mixed with pain is a heavy cocktail, and I don’t want to carry the burden.