Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
“It wasn’t,” Lex said softly. “I never found out how King got the money for his half, but Con got his by joining an illegal fight club.” Lex dashed at his eyes. “You should have seen him, Gideon. He was covered in bruises all the time… I begged him to stop, but he wouldn’t. Neither of them would. Not until they had every penny.”
When Lex took a moment to get his emotions under control, I remained silent, but I ran my thumb over his to remind him I was there.
“The surgery was a success and after I recovered, I went to live with King and Con. It kind of feels like that’s when my life really started."
"Makes sense," I said.
"It felt like I wasn't worth anything to anyone for the first eighteen years of my life, Gideon. Except to Con and King. And eventually my other brothers, Luca and Vaughn. I thought things would be different when I was an adult. I dreamed of having my own family. I wanted to wake up next to my husband every morning and have our kids come running into the room and jump in bed with us. I wanted my brothers to be annoyingly overprotective uncles. I wanted… I wanted to be wanted." Lex began rubbing his free hand over the table. "But the men came and went. Other things did too. Jobs, friends… there was only one constant in my life."
"Your brothers."
Lex nodded. "After my video game business took off, my social life became a lot more active. I know you don't like hearing about other men—"
"I don't," I admitted. "But I need to hear this."
"I started dating guys who were very different from the few I’d been with when I was younger. Good-looking, educated men with aspirations. I tried just enjoying dating someone new each night, but I'm not wired that way. I never was. I didn't know how to meet a man who'd want the same things as me. The ones who said they did turned out to only be interested in my money or in getting their fifteen minutes in the spotlight. And then came Grady."
Lex stopped toying with the table and did his best to look directly at me. I was still holding his hand, so I could feel how cold and clammy it was.
"I'm a mess, Gideon. That's who I am," he said simply. "I might look put together on the outside, but inside I'm still that little kid who's tired of hoping for something that might never happen. I'm terrified of loving you. But I do. You make me feel things even when I can't see them. I can see the world through your eyes. I can feel it through your touch, and I can hear it through your words. You want me to tell you what I want… what I want is you, Gideon. I just want you."
My heart felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest at his admission. Never in a million years had I thought he could feel that way about me. That he could feel the same way that I did.
"Lex," I began to say, but then Brewer began barking. I heard the sound of a car coming down the driveway.
"King's here," Lex said softly as he stood up. "I guess I should get my things."
He tried to tug his hand free, but I refused to release it. Instead, I stood up and pulled him behind me when I went to the door to open it.
"Brewer, go keep our guest company for a while," I said. The husky darted through the door. I slammed it shut behind him and flipped the lock. Brewer began barking all over again when he realized who the visitor was and I found myself smiling.
"Gideon?" Lex said in confusion.
I used my finger to move the curtain over the glass in the door just a bit and saw King sitting in his car. He had the window rolled down and it looked like he was talking to my dog. Maybe trying to make amends, I wasn't sure. But Brewer wasn't having any of it.
"Good dog," I said quietly and then I turned to Lex. I pulled him forward and covered his mouth with mine. He squeaked in surprise, but that lasted about two seconds. Then he was kissing me back.
When I broke the kiss I said, "I love you, Lex. I love every version of you that I've met from the moment I laid eyes on you in that cabin. That will never change." I kissed him hard. "I need to know that no matter what, you'll never doubt that. You’ll never doubt how much I love you and why I love you."
Lex choked back a sob and nodded. "No doubt," he confirmed. "I love you so much, Gideon."