Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“And you were the expert, saying it was from Asia,” he said, nodding. “You’re so smart. And you’re so nice to me. Why are you being so nice to me?”
I ran my fingertips along his chest. “I told you. Because I like you,” I said. “But honestly, I think I’m finally realizing what my problem has been for my whole life.”
“Too hot? Too sexy? Too desirable?”
I snorted. “No. I’ve always wondered why I was so bad socially, or so bad at flirting. But I think I’ve realized that the problem was I was too focused on myself, and how I come off, when in reality I should have just focused on making other people feel special.”
He got a twinkle behind his eyes. “It’s working.”
“Hmm?”
“You’re making me feel special,” he said. “And I don’t know what the fuck to do with that feeling.”
It was like my world had just quietly shifted on its axis. It was subtle, but Chase had just brought to light something that my brain had been fixating on for at least a week, now.
“You don’t know what to do with it?” I asked.
He shook his head, suddenly looking more vulnerable than I’d ever seen him look. “I’m not used to it, Adam,” he said, his voice dropping to almost a whisper.
“But everyone wants you,” I said. “Who wouldn’t want you?”
“No one really wants me,” he told me, and the tone of the whole conversation shifted in an instant. “They want to have sex with me. They know I’m fun for a night out. But me? Not so much.”
I’d realized a while ago that there was an ocean of feeling beneath Chase’s breezy exterior. But right now he was showing me that depth more than he ever had before.
“All right, calling for wide shots!” I heard the director’s voice shouting from downstairs.
“Why didn’t you tell me you felt that way?” I asked, feeling rushed, knowing that he had to get downstairs.
“Because it’s fucking terrifying,” he admitted. The look in his eyes crushed me.
I shook my head slowly. “But nothing scares you.”
He swallowed, squeezing my hand. “I wish that were true. I need to go set up this shot before Flynn sends a firing squad after me.”
I wanted more. So much more. Because that’s how I always felt with Chase.
“Don’t go home after the work day is over,” I said to him, not caring that I sounded like I was begging. “Please stay?”
He winked at me. “Knew you wished we filmed something last night.”
I furrowed my brow. “It’s not about filming something, or about hooking up,” I said. “I want to talk to you, Chase.”
“I want to show you my appreciation for that video this morning, though,” he said as he pulled away, heading down the hall toward the stairs. “And show the rest of the followers, you know?”
Something sat wrong in my chest as I watched him barrel down the stairs back to his camera rig.
Of course I wanted to film more videos with Chase.
Of course I wanted to fuck his brains out, and have him fuck me for the first time, too. I wanted to sleep with him all the goddamn time, and I wanted his lips on mine more than I’d really ever wanted anything, if I was being honest.
But I also wanted him to open up to me.
For one quick moment, here in the hall, it felt like he had been doing that. Then, quick as ever, he’d gone right back into his flirty, nothing-matters mode, like his vulnerability had been nothing but an illusion.
I turned on my heel and headed out to my balcony, letting the summer sun beat down on my skin.
No. I wasn’t going to spend any more time holding back, socially.
I did see a part of Chase that he never showed anyone. And he could pull back as much as he wanted, but I wasn’t going to let him hide who he really was.
He could ghost me if he wanted to.
He could tell me that he wanted nothing to do with me after he was done working at my house.
But I was going to be honest with him. I wasn’t going to be afraid to tell him that he was one of the best things that had ever happened to me—not just for my sex life, but for my whole goddamn world.
Chase deserved that, even if he couldn’t see it himself.
23
CHASE
“So where do you want to set up, when we film?” I asked Adam after the front door shut behind the last of the Fixer Brothers crew that afternoon. “Your cock always looks amazing in the light by the balcony, but I kind of wanted to try a video in the living room.”
“Chase,” Adam said to me in the same tone that he’d had in the hallway earlier today.
The tone that had made me feel like I had some sort of Energizer fucking bunny in my chest, wondering why the hell he was suddenly getting so serious.