Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 79021 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79021 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
She held up a hand. “Please, just stop. You don’t think I know you’ve been with other women, Roger? I’m not naïve, for fuck’s sake. I know I’m not your first. That makes no sense to me at all.”
“Maybe it is stupid, but in my head, it made sense. What I have with you feels pure, and I thought it would ruin it.” I scrubbed my hands down my face and sighed. “That next day, I bought a brand-new bed.”
Annalise frowned. “I don’t know if that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, or the most romantic.” She shook her head and waved a hand in front of her. “No, it’s not romantic. I don’t know what it is.”
She turned away from me. “I don’t care about your past, Roger. Who you slept with, how many times... Whatever… It was the past. It was all before me, and I don’t care. What I do care about is whether you’ll ever be able to open your heart to me. Because if you’re going to pine for a woman who isn’t even here, I don’t think I can play seconds.”
Every part of me wanted to scream out and tell her she was wrong. She was so wrong. But I stood there, not uttering a single word because I couldn’t seem to make my mind come up with the right words. I knew, deep down, why I held back. I was fucking terrified to give her that much power over me. How in the hell did I explain that to her?
Her eyes met mine.
With a sniffle and a shake of her head, she opened the door and walked away from me, and I let her go.
Again. All because I was too much of a coward to admit to her how scared I was to give her my heart.
After I’d managed to down nearly an entire bottle of whiskey, I stumbled to my bed and fell into it face-first with a bottle of gin clutched in my hand. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep. Visions of Annalise came and went in my dreams. Her smile, her laughter…her tears.
I rolled over and sat up in bed when I heard a noise.
Blinking rapidly, I stared at the woman sitting at the foot of the bed.
“Kerri?” I whispered, quickly realizing I was dreaming since there was no way she was actually sitting on my bed.
She smiled. “Are you really going to let her go?”
“Annalise?”
Laughing, she said, “Yes, Annalise. Are you an idiot?”
I opened my mouth, then snapped it shut. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes and rubbed them.
When I opened them again, Kerri was still there.
“Why are you afraid to let her in? I know you love her, and it’s okay if you love her more than you loved me.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t love her more. It’s…it’s a different love. God, I’m so sorry, Kerri. It feels…so much stronger than what we shared. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s supposed to be different, Roger. It’s okay that it’s different, that it’s stronger. Everything happens for a reason.”
I swallowed hard. “What did you say?”
She moved and knelt at the bottom of the bed, just like she used to when she wanted to talk to me about something important. “Everything that has happened in your life up until now has been for a reason. I died in that car accident for a reason. You got stuck in Chicago for a reason. Annalise ended up in that hotel room with you…for a reason.
“Fate, Roger. Fate brought you back together here in Boerne.” She laughed. “My goodness, Roger. Do you need to be knocked upside your head for you to see it? No woman has ever made you feel the way she does because your journey was to find her. To find Annalise. Her path and your path led you to each other. Our love didn’t work out because it wasn’t meant to be. Your heart has always belonged to her, and you have to be brave enough to hand it over to her now.”
“When I lost you, Kerri, I was devastated. What if…?”
A soft smile moved over her face. “Love isn’t easy, darling. But to never give it a chance would be even more devastating. Your hearts are fated for one another. Open up and let her in.”
“Wait—Annalise said the same thing.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again, only to find Kerri drifting away.
She blew me a kiss and then said, “It’s time to wake up now, Roger. You have to go get her. She’s leaving…wake up now… She’s leaving! Roger! Wake up!”
I sat straight up in bed and looked around the room.
“Fuck, you scared the shit out of me, Roger.”
I turned to find Truitt next to my bed, a panicked look on his face.