Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
I can see how badly he wants me, always wants me, the same way I want him.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
He grins, and for a while, we snap more photos.
“So tell me then,” I say. “Why are you so scared to boss me around?”
He laughs. “Well, number one. You’ve got some experience now with photographing models, so I think you know what you’re doing.”
His words make me glow, my smile spreading as I think about the shot we did near the waterfall—classy and cool.
“And number two. Your pregnancy hormones are pretty damn scary.”
I laugh at his teasing note, turning sideways and holding my bump, our bump since it holds our child and our future inside.
“Well, since that’s the case, you better take this photo at this angle before I go on a freaking rampage.”
We laugh together, our voices rising, our love swelling with it.
Felix takes a photo, and that’s the one we go with.
The laughter, the smile, the light, the love.
I know I’ll cherish it forever.
EPILOGUE
ONE YEAR LATER
Felix
I stand in the hallway just outside the living room, stopping with the drinks in my hand.
Lola and Faye are in there, talking quietly, probably so they don’t wake Lila.
My heart swells even thinking about my daughter, my second daughter.
Lila’s name is an homage to my first daughter, and I think it’s cute, Lila and Lola. We didn’t want to name her Lola outright because it would’ve been odd having two kids with the exact same name.
But I like this, Lila, a clear sign that our youngest daughter may not be here without her big sister’s blessing.
I remember the way she looked up at me on her first day in this world, her mother’s light in her eyes, and how I didn’t even have it in me to snap a photograph.
It was enough to just look at her and let her look back at me.
“This is all so magical,” Faye says.
My wife says. That’s something else that has me wanting to pinch myself to confirm it’s real.
This woman – talented, loving, sassy, beautiful, intelligent–is truly mine.
There’s no more doubt, ever, no more wondering if things will work out.
“The house?” Lola asks.
It’s new, with five bedrooms, ready for our family to grow.
Lola lowers her voice, and that’s how I know she’s holding Lila.
“No, I can see…you mean everything, don’t you?”
“Everything,” Faye says softly. “I know I’ve said it before.”
“About a hundred times.”
“But thank you so much.”
“You proved me wrong,” Lola says. “I said I didn’t want things to get awkward if you broke up. But that was before I got a chance to really see you both together. And sure, it’s weird. Sometimes. But not often. And this little Lily-Lila is more than worth it.”
I walk into the room before I’m unable to – before the moment sends me onto my ass with the sheer force of the love. Lola’s got her little sister in her arms, rocking her softy, and my Faye sits next to her.
They’re about to watch a rom-com together, and I smile at my wife as I place their drinks down on the table.
Faye’s sporting one of the casual dresses she wears sometimes just around the house, made of that flowy material. Seeing her in that makes me want to make another baby.
But mostly, it’s the happiness in my wife’s eyes I see, the love, the devotion…all mirrored in mine, I know, because I’ll never stop wanting and needing her.
“Shall I take the munchkin?” I ask.
“Do you mind?” Faye says.
I laugh quietly, leaning toward Lola, who offers her little sister up.
“She cries less than you did,” I joke.
Lola laughs. “Give her time. She’ll hit her stride soon.”
I leave them to their movie, holding my daughter gently in my arms, cradling her close.
“I love you, angel,” I whisper.
EPILOGUE
TEN YEARS LATER
Faye
“I thought you were supposed to be the expert,” Eric, Lola’s husband, laughs as Felix tries to wrangle all the kids into position.
I check the camera view screen again, laughing as my husband chases the twins – his grandkids, Lola’s kids – and sweeps them into his arms.
Lila’s already in position, with her hair pleated, her hands clasped patiently in front of her. She gives me a look, an eye roll, as if to say kids.
It breaks my heart and makes me love her all the more. She’s so grown up for her age. And yet, like with all my children, part of me doesn’t want them to grow up, even if growing up means loving them more and more every day.
It's a tricky and wonderful thing, motherhood.
Adam and Jake stand near the front, our five- and six-year-olds looking neat in their shirts and their combed black hair. Both of them look like photos of Felix I’ve seen when he was around their age.
Felix chuckles as he carries the twins over to the back of the garden, where we’re all gathered. Fresh love blooms in me as he places them down and claps Eric on the back, both of the men grinning, and me and Lola smiling with pure happiness at how amazing, and bright everything became.