Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 71595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“It is, but...” I bite my lip. It’s becoming clearer to me by the second that I’ve really done it this time. “I know what you’re thinking. People are expected to drink in a goukon, and I’d ruin the whole atmosphere if I refuse to drink.”
Nina flashes a relieved smile. “I’m glad you get it.”
I return her smile weakly.
This is going to be bad.
Four shots and thirty minutes later, and I’m piss drunk, laughing and crying in the Jacuzzi while singing my heart out to Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On. Everyone’s cheering for me, thinking I’m going all out to score 100, but it’s not that. It was never that. With every word I belt out, I’m praying to the heavens—-
I want to make sure that my heart will go on, blast it.
Because I’m so, so tired of hurting.
The song ends, the drumroll starts, and everyone screams wildly when I get a perfect score.
Someone hands me another shot, and I toss it back in one gulp.
More cheering, more dancing, more laughter.
It should make me feel alive, but I’ve never felt so dead.
Wading away from the crowd as a couple takes their turn with the mic for a duet, I lean back against the wall of the Jacuzzi and stare up at the ceiling. Neon streaks of light bounce against it before dancing on the tiled walls of the room. They’re dazzling and strangely hypnotic, and as they zigzag around me, I start to float.
The past and present begin to merge in my mind.
The Jacuzzi is in the hospital room, and instead of all of these drunken strangers around me, I have...Yuki.
He’s looking down at me, and I smile up at him dreamily. I love you.
His beautiful lips move to form the very same words. I love you.
Promise you won’t leave me again?
If you promise you won’t let this happen again.
I will. I promise. I’ll be a good girl. It’s just that I love you so much.
And I love you, too. Always.
Kiss me?
“Sure.”
But the voice uttering the word isn’t Yuki’s. It’s rough and slurred, not at all elegant like the voice of the boy I loved. My eyes fly open just in time to see another guy’s mouth coming down on me.
I shove him away with a gasp. “No!” But the noise in the room drowns out the sound, and when I gaze about me wildly, I realize that Nina’s nowhere to be found and everyone else seems drunk.
The guy who just tried to kiss me shakes his head, blinking at me owlishly. “What the hell? You told me to kiss you.”
I pale. “I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else—-”
“Are you fucking kidding me? There’s no one else you could be talking to.” And then he starts to grin. “Oh, now I get it. This is an American thing, isn’t it? You want us to do some kind of role play?”
“Excuse me?” How is that even an American thing?
He starts inching towards me again, leering, “That’s hot, baby. I’m really digging it. You play the innocent victim really well. And don’t you worry, I’ve got what it takes to fuck you up.”
I believe him. His words have already fucked me up, to the point that I feel like throwing up at the sight of him. “You have this all wrong,” I stammer.
The guy laughs. “Yeah. Sure. Whatever you say, babe.” And then he lunges at me, and my head starts to spin as I try to struggle against the sudden weight of his body shoving my back against the wall of the Jacuzzi. I let out a cry as his hands lock my wrists behind me, but with everyone around us too busy singing, drinking, and making out, the sound is lost in the rest of the cacophony inside the room.
I start to scream, but it’s too late, and the man’s wet mouth crashes down on me.
My eyes sting with helpless tears. I thrash against him even as I start to choke in panic.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be. Oh my God, this isn’t—-
In the distance, I hear the sound of the door banging open—-
And then I’m being hauled out of the man’s hold.
When I open my eyes, I immediately know I’m hallucinating.
I have to be hallucinating.
I have to be.
Because there’s no way it’s Yuki I’m staring at, no way it could be Yuki holding me so tightly in his arms.
“Are you alright?” he rasps out.
Yes. I’m definitely hallucinating. There’s no way Yuki could be speaking to me like that either, no way he could be speaking to me like he actually cared. He as good as told me earlier that I could fuck off, didn’t he? So no, this can’t be him—-
Yuki places my wet, shivering body on the leather couch. “Please answer me, senpai.” His voice is hoarse and strained. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”