Exposing the Groom Read Online Rachel Van Dyken

Categories Genre: Chick Lit, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 66259 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
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“And Dustin!” She jabs a finger at me. “Nearly shit his pants so he just went with it, so really whose fault is this?”

“Gods,” I say when she says, “Dustin’s!”

I nod. “Not bad, I would like to use him as a scapegoat at some point this weekend.”

“It’s the mannerisms and all around fact checking for me.” She looks away and nods like she’s in deep thought. “Like earlier he asked if I knew how thick a turtle’s shell was and I cracked a joke about—“

“—Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”

“Naturally.” She nods. “And he was horrified, put a hand on my shoulder, then no joke patted me like I was in mourning and whispered in my ear, you know they aren’t real right?”

“Tell me you pretended to cry.”

“Of course I did because he felt like he was telling me Santa wasn’t real, he offered me tissues and then his wine which—“

“—You chugged immediately because Dustin.”

“Pretty much.”

“He’s a different one.” I frown. “Hey, did we just stop fighting?”

“No. Maybe. Yes.” She smiles. “You truly drive me crazy and not in a good way, you argue over the dumbest things.”

I hold my hand up to stop her. “No, I just like to have my opinion heard.”

“Ergo, arguing,” she responds.

“Which is what you’re doing right now.”

“Must you always have the last word?”

“Must you look so pretty with no makeup on and your hair looking like a rat nested in it?”

She opens her mouth and closes it then crosses her arms over her chest. “Low blow.”

I chuckle and get a pillow immediately to the face. “Ouch.”

“Deserved.”

“Fair.”

I sigh and then flip over to my side. She’s right there, so close I can taste her. Brown eyes lock on mine. I lean down, knowing that everything in me is saying this will end badly, but I just want to kiss her. I don’t know if it’s because she never gives in, or because she looks so cute with her hair and makeup free face, or if I’m just going crazy from this wedding.

But I want it.

I slowly lean down while she leans up on her elbows. I’m a breath away from her mouth when Dustin’s voice rings clear.

“AUNT GERTRUDE IS DEAD!”

We break apart instantly, he knocks on the door then bursts through it panting. “Aunt Gertrude! She left her teeth on the table, she got drunk, they can’t find her, they think possible drowning in the pool the pond, the SEA I mean river, whatever, we have to find Aunt Gertrude!”

I hold up my hand. “Not that I’m not panicking like you are right now, but why is Aunt Gertrude so important.”

Scarlett freezes next to me. “She may be weird but she literally has control over the entire family money, I mean if I sneezed funny while she farted after eating one of her ten allergic foods, she’d say I was out of the will.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay so what? Are we talking like two million? Five? ten?”

“Seventy.” Scarlett and Dustin say at the same time while Adrian comes running in.

“Aunt Gertrude is missing!”

“We know,” we say in unison.

“She’s worth seventy million and changes her inheritance like people change leases!”

“We know,” we say again in unison.

I take a deep breath. “Okay, let’s split up and also acknowledge we’re doing this to save a life, possibly a shitty wedding, and it has nothing to do with money.”

Everyone goes silent.

“Welll…” Dustin holds up his finger and thumb.

Adrian sighs. “It has a little to do with the money and it not going to Addison because last year she was cut out.”

Everyone freezes.

Scarlett goes pale. “I’m sorry, what?”

Adrian looks down at his feet. “Your dad made me swear.”

She smacks him with a pillow. I really need to start hiding those. “WHY!”

“Because!” Adrian starts to pace. “He knew it would upset you because it’s your sister but Gertrude was pissed over what Addison did and said the only way she’d forgive her would be to settle down and stop her whorish ways, and she did say whore.”

Scarlett isn’t really moving. I wave a hand in front of her face. “You with us? You breathing?”

“What did I ever do to her?” Scarlett whispers, her voice is too soft, it’s freaking me out a bit. “I just, wanted to be happy, I wanted her to be happy—“

“—she wants money, she has no job, her hobby barely pays her because nobody cares. What do you think?” Adrian sniffs. “You have a successful podcast, so she of course, tries to start one. Everything she does is a carbon copy of your life, so worst-case scenario if she can’t be you—“

“—She’ll beat you,” I say under my breath.

Dustin lets out a gasp. “It’s like Dynasty.”

“How is this like Dynasty?” I ask.

“Nevermind.” He waves me off. “Let’s focus on the missing aunt first. Cops have been called, security is out looking, even Killian’s bodyguards but we should at least attempt to help, anyone know where she would most likely go while drunk?”The room goes silent for a few seconds then Scarlett jumps up. “She loves swimming.”


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