Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 157032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 785(@200wpm)___ 628(@250wpm)___ 523(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 785(@200wpm)___ 628(@250wpm)___ 523(@300wpm)
“Hi.” I smile and bend to kiss her cheek as a greeting.
“Hi, Stan.” She smiles at Joshua.
He nods and smiles politely. “Hello.”
“Do you want to come inside for a drink? It’s been months since we spent any time together,” she asks hopefully.
I smirk, knowing that was code for it’s been months since we fucked.
I narrow my eyes as I contemplate the offer. “Ah, yeah. Maybe later. I’m staying out here for a while.”
She smiles. “Come looking for me when you’re ready to catch up.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You know I will.”
She walks off and Stan’s eyes and mine follow her as she glides through the crowd.
“She’s fucking hot,” he murmurs.
I exhale. “Yeah, she’s okay,” I reply, bored as my eyes glance around at the crowd.
He narrows his eyes as he watches me. “What’s up with you lately?”
“What do you mean?” I frown.
He sips his beer. “Well...” He purses his lips as he thinks. “I haven’t seen you hook up with a girl in months.”
I shrug as I take a drink. “That’s because I haven’t.”
He frowns. “Since when?”
“Since Ashley.”
He widens his eyes, shocked. “You haven’t had sex with anyone since Ashley?”
“Nope,” I reply with a shake of my head.
“Why not?”
I shrug. “Nobody’s doing it for me.”
“Is that a record for you?”
I nod. “Yep. Biggest dry spell since I started having sex.”
His eyes hold mine. “What’s going on with you and Ashley, anyway?”
I run my fingers through my two-day growth. “I don’t know. I think she tolerates me.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Fucking truth it does.”
“I thought you were getting along?”
I shrug. “She’s being nice to me for Owen’s sake. Although, last weekend was a little different.”
“What happened last weekend?”
“I was sick and she came to my house and looked after me for the weekend.”
He listens as he watches me.
“I think I’ve officially been friend-zoned for the first time in my life.” I widen my eyes as I sip my beer.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You didn’t make her clean up your vomit, did you?”
I laugh. “Practically.” I shake my head. “Fuck. It was mortifying.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“There’s nothing I can do.”
He thinks for a moment. “Look, I don’t know how it is with you, and you know mine and Tash’s story, I loved her from afar for years… But nobody could fill the void that she left.”
I blow out a sad breath. “That’s what I’m afraid of. What if I never feel the way she makes me feel with anyone else? What if I was supposed to be with Ashley for real and I fucked it all up?”
He watches me for a moment, silent.
“She doesn’t trust me.” I pause and shrug. “And why would she?”
“But you didn’t know her then. You were trying to do what was best for your son.”
“We know that, but she doesn’t.”
He frowns as he thinks.
“And the worse thing is, what if I push for her to forgive me and she can’t?” I ask.
“What do you mean?”
“What if I just end up pushing her further away?” I shrug. “At the moment, I would rather be in a room with Ashley while she ignores me than be in a bed with three of the hottest chicks in this party. Another woman is not even an option. I can’t think of anything worse.”
He purses his lips and stares at me.
I shake my head in disgust. “I seriously messed up so bad and I have no idea how to fix it.” I sigh. “If I make a move, I’m fucked. If I don’t make a move, I’m fucked.”
“Have you tried to talk to her?” He frowns.
“Yep. She shuts me down every time, and it’s only since I stopped trying that she has even given me the time of day.”
“Fuck.” He exhales deeply. “I don’t know, man.”
I sip my beer. “Maybe I just need to screw her out of my system. Be happy with co-parenting with her while banging everyone else?”
Joshua nods. “Maybe? What about when she meets someone else? Could you watch her go on and marry someone else and have kids with him?”
I frown as the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. “I couldn’t bear it,” I whisper.
He shakes his head in disgust. “Then get your fucking game on and get her back,” he barks.
“It’s complicated. There’s a kid… a kid of ours. I can’t wreck the friendship. I can’t even risk wrecking the friendship. It’s taken her two months just to make eye contact with me.”
“There is nothing complicated about it. Either you want her or you don’t. Simple as that.”
I watch him.
“She’s gorgeous, Cam. Another fuckwit is going to swoop in and steal her from right under your nose.”
I clench my jaw in anger at the very thought.
Fuck… I couldn’t stand it.
“She’s with Natasha and Adrian now, you know,” he mutters.