Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 128801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 644(@200wpm)___ 515(@250wpm)___ 429(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 644(@200wpm)___ 515(@250wpm)___ 429(@300wpm)
A cry ripped from her soul.
She drove out of Time River like it could leave the heartbreak behind.
Like she might be able to pretend she hadn’t been shattered.
That she hadn’t been such a fool to put herself on the line.
She ended up at a bar in Poplar.
It was loud and packed with people.
She didn’t know any of them, but she didn’t want to be alone.
She couldn’t bear going back to her empty room.
Couldn’t bear to think of the vacant branch that would sway beneath the moon.
Her mother had always warned them about the risks of drowning their miseries in alcohol, but it was the only solution she could find right then.
Just for one night.
For one night she had to numb this pain because it was too great.
And maybe it was stupid and desperate when the guy took the stool beside her. Pathetic that the way he looked at her felt nice.
And when he set his hand on her knee, she didn’t flinch.
She didn’t want to be herself.
Just for one night, she didn’t want to be the girl who would love Ryder Nash for the rest of her life.
For one night, she wanted to forget about him.
Because she knew tomorrow, it would be Ryder she remembered.
FORTY-SIX
DAKOTA
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I sniffled, wiping them away as I stared out the rambling wall of windows that overlooked the back of Caleb and Paisley’s property from where I sat curled in the banquette table.
A sprawling lawn rolled out from the back of the house, running all the way to the river and woods in the distance. Beyond the copse of towering trees, the stunning mountains that hedged Time River touched the endless blue sky.
I couldn’t imagine a more breathtaking view.
But I was having a really hard time recognizing the beauty right then. Not when everything had soured.
My mind wouldn’t stop running through the torment of everything he’d revealed.
After Amelia had died, after I’d confessed to him how I really felt, it had taken a long time for Ryder and me to get back to a place where we could be friends. To a place where we were comfortable around each other. Where looking at him didn’t ache so horribly that I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
He’d stayed away from me for months. During that period, we’d only seen each other in passing, and every single time I’d felt cracked wide open.
Like I was missing an intrinsic piece of myself.
What had made it even worse was when the lender had called and told me my loan was going to go through. It was the one time I’d gone to Ryder to speak with him. I’d told him I couldn’t accept it. It was the first time he’d ever shown any anger around me. Rage clouding his eyes before he’d simply refused.
So, I’d taken it.
Poured myself into renovating the restaurant and making it mine.
I had made an oath to myself that I would repay him as quickly as I could. Considered it a loan and tried to compartmentalize it as that.
It was the most I’d spoken to him until the day Kayden had been born. There’d been a light knocking at my hospital room door, and it’d been Ryder who had poked his head through the crack.
He’d said he couldn’t go on with the way things were between us. He said it wasn’t supposed to be like that. We were family, and he cared about me, and he wanted to be a part of my life.
That day, he’d held my newborn son in his arms and whispered that he was beautiful. Promised he’d always love him, and he was there for both of us, no matter what we needed.
We’d never discussed any of the things I’d admitted that day in his foyer.
And now that I understood it, why he’d turned me away, the reason he’d lied and told me that he didn’t love me, I wished that I didn’t.
I jolted when Paisley’s voice broke into my thoughts. “More coffee?”
“Sure.”
She grabbed the carafe from the coffee maker and carried it over, eyeing me as she refilled my mug that I’d been nursing for what had to have been the last six hours. I felt like I couldn’t physically move.
Stagnant and stuck.
The fact I’d even managed to make it out of bed had to be considered a miracle.
“Thank you,” I told her.
She sank into the chair next to me. “How are you doing?”
I brought the steaming mug to my lips, inhaling the scent more than actually tasting the coffee. “As good as can be expected.”
I turned back to look through the windows. Lost. In a trance that I didn’t know how to pull myself from. Because this whole thing had to be a bad dream.
A nightmare I’d fallen into.
“I don’t expect you to be feeling a whole lot of good right now, Dakota.”