Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 148949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
How much had I already changed?
And more importantly. . .should I change even more?
Should my frozen heart further thaw?
And if it did, what would that mean for my rule over the Brotherhood?
What would it mean when it came to protecting my family?
I gritted my teeth.
This metamorphosis of the world around me stirred a sense of contemplation deep within my soul.
Should I follow the Earth’s lead?
Should I embrace a season of change?
With the birth of my youngest son and the gentle touch of my mouse’s heart, I found myself standing at the precipice of a new beginning, one that offered the chance to leave behind the frosty shackles of my murderous past or tighten that coldness further around me.
Always it comes back to that choice of. . .to kill or not to kill. . .
I thought back to what the gardener had done.
My heart ached.
I do not want to change. I want the gardener’s spirit to look down from the gates of heaven and cry as I torture his family.
Meanwhile, Baba argued about my need for growth and change.
But, those ideas triggered my very core to tremble. For me to act with peace and forgiveness would be to journey into the realms of the unknown. I didn’t like uncertainty.
I understood violence, but forgiveness. . .that was something I did not have a lot of experience with.
My heart was not like my mouse’s. Hers was a complex tapestry of evolving emotions. She made her choices based off emotion. If Emily killed, it meant that someone she loved had been in danger.
I thought back to how she had viciously murdered the female assassin sent to kill Paolo. There had been no forgiveness in Emily’s eyes in that moment. It had not been her intention to present an example to anyone. She simply refused to let that woman breathe anymore. And the only reason the other assassin remained alive was to help Blue find the main person.
Once she did, only God knew what Emily would do to her.
But. . .Emily did change my heart a little.
I bombed less and made sure to keep the number of innocent victims down.
And. . .business did improve. But could I point to that for the improvement?
My head hurt.
Had I not picked up the gun, I might have been some sort of philosopher studying the true essence of humanity. Questioning the possibilities of personal transformation.
But, I am the Lion, not a philosopher. An example must be made.
David disrupted my thoughts. “On another note, everything is ready for the trip. The plane is packed with everyone’s bags. After you are. . .done, I plan to have you go straight to the plane.”
“Oh.” Shock hit me. I pushed any thoughts of change out of my head and turned to David. “Straight to the plane? Then, I will be off soon.”
“Very soon.”
And I will have to say goodbye to you.
I swallowed.
David gave me a sad smile. “Do you think you will need something else?”
“I cannot think of anything.”
David nodded.
“But. . .”
He raised his eyebrows.
“I must say, David. . I will miss you.”
David smirked. “Do not worry, Kazimir. We will talk at least three times a day.”
I gave him a mocking grin. “Just make sure it is on video.”
“Of course.” David winked and then chuckled. “I would not want you to miss my face.”
I wanted to say more, but couldn’t. If I did. . .I might get too emotional.
Maybe, my heart wasn’t as cold as I thought.
Never had I cared so much for a number one in my life.
My nerves flared as I thought of our separation.
“Be careful, David.”
“I will be.”
“Whatever you need from anyone, you will get it. They know that you are the Lion’s Roar.”
David laughed. “The Lion’s Roar?”
I didn’t laugh with him. “Yes. I just came up with that.”
“Well,” he chuckled again. “I like that. I will be sure to remind anyone who may doubt my power.”
“Be sure to do that.”
Nothing can happen to you.
The car continued its journey and I went back to pondering the ever-changing nature of the world.
I found myself lost in thoughts of transformation and the possibility of my own metamorphosis.
As the ice thawed and spring breathed new life into Moscow, I couldn’t help but feel the stirrings of change within me as well.
But could I reconcile the man I have been with the man that Baba and my mouse wanted me to become?
And again, would that be enough to secure the future of my family and the Brotherhood?
These questions weighed heavily on my heart, as I faced the delicate balance between love and power.
Would this example of violence benefit my new family?
Or would it ultimately be my undoing?
Plus, I wondered if it was even possible for someone like me—with a heart forged in the cold, brutal world of the Brotherhood—to truly change.
Was it within my nature to soften and embrace the warmth of love and family?