Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 103104 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103104 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
“Then why do I feel like something is still wrong?” he mutters.
I rest my head on his shoulder for a second. God, he smells like the ocean and the sun. I’m going to miss him. I’m going to cry for months. I’m going to weep and weep and weep—
“Ava?” Mr. Trask appears in his doorway, his face somber. “I’m ready.”
I stand and walk into his office.
“I’ll be waiting right here,” Knox says.
Twenty minutes later, I’ve laid everything out for the headmaster, that I know it was Liam who attacked me outside the gym, and of course, he already knows about the arrest. He quickly agrees to keep Tyler’s scholarship as long as I want, assuring me that the board members would be happy to. I’m not sure if he’s afraid I’ll sue the school since Liam’s been arrested, or perhaps he just actually cares. He agrees to refund Knox most of the money for my housing.
I accept it all and leave his office.
Knox stands up, searching my face. “Good?”
Relief feels immense after worrying about how Trask would react to me leaving. “Better than I thought, actually.”
He exhales. “Was it about Liam? He’ll be expelled, even if he gets off on bail, which I can’t imagine the judge allowing since his family is wealthy. Let’s go to class.”
We make our way down the silent hall, and everyone’s in first period by now. Mrs. White is probably talking about one of her iconic movies.
I stop at my locker and stare at it, thinking back to that first day and my letter from Knox. Sitting next to him in class. Him changing my tire. Playing my song on the piano. Prank night.
I work the combination, opening it and clearing out the items inside, placing them in my backpack. Photographs of me and Piper I taped up. Notebooks. Pencils. A highlighter.
Knox has grown stiff as he stands behind me, and now he moves closer, his hands on my shoulders, his chest against my back. I feel him dip his head into my hair. “Don’t do it, Tulip. Don’t leave me. Don’t—” His voice catches and he turns me around, his eyes gleaming. “Stay with me. I’m giving you my heart. I’m giving you everything.”
I whimper. “Knox, I can’t.”
“Why?” he says in a ragged voice, shoving his hands in my hair and palming my scalp.
I shake my head at him, looking for words. How do I tell him about the hours I spent yesterday, debating and thinking about the future, Knox’s and mine? How do I explain that I don’t think I can force myself to walk in that entrance one more day?
Even if he is here.
I need my own space to grow and live and forget about this town, and I need to let him go so he can do the same.
“Didn’t you come back for justice? Come on, Tulip.”
I smile because deep down, he always knew how my head works.
I dip my head to his chest and breathe. “I did. You helped me, but that process is done. I can’t tell you how lucky I am to have known you, to see you again, to touch you. To make love to you—” My resolve cracks and a tear falls—the first one since I came here—and I hastily swipe it away, but I can’t stop them. They come and come, until my arms go around his shoulders and his shirt is wet.
He tips my face up and presses his forehead against mine. “You’re leaving me? For real?” His voice hitches at the question, and I close my eyes, forcing myself to finish this.
I trace the outline of his lips. “I came back for Tyler, but really, part of me came back for me, too, to figure out who hurt me, and we did. I didn’t plan on you and you didn’t plan on me, and you have a future here, and I…I don’t. This place holds nothing special except you and Wyatt and Piper.”
He clutches my hips. “Shhh, I don’t accept this, you hear me? You’re just upset, and I can’t even imagine how emotional you must feel with everything hitting you like this.” He sucks in air. “Don’t fuck me up, please. You can’t go because I won’t get over you. I won’t ever find someone like you. I won’t ever kiss a girl like you. I love you.” He sighs. “Fuck, don’t you love me? I think you do, but you never said, and I’m standing here and you’re packing up your shit and leaving me—”
Brokenly, I say, “I love you, so much that I’d do anything, even if it means saying goodbye. You need some room to breathe, like you said. You said that for a reason, whether it was about your brother or just something deep down that you know is right. Your brother needs you now. You have a whole season of football and a team to take to state. You have big goals and I do too, but I can’t pursue them here anymore even though you’re the most worthy, kind, wonderful, beautiful person I’ve ever met. I have to go, I have to, I have to…” My shoulders shake as more tears fall. “Don’t make it hard on me, please. Just, someday in the future, find me. Just find me and come up to me and tell me you still love me and want me and can’t live without me in your arms—”