Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
“It was pretty obvious how much I wanted you last night and the night before. All right? You’ve got me. I wanted you, and you have a way of making me react before I can stop myself. I can admit that.”
“That must be so hard for you. Admitting you’re human.”
“I never said I wasn’t. You’re the one who insists on insulting me and turning me into someone I’m not.”
“You’re somebody who only cares about the job you’re doing for my father.”
“Since when is that a crime?”
“It’s not.” She turns to me, folding her arms, and the morning sunlight streaming in through the window at her back turns her blonde curls into a halo. What a contradiction with the hatred etched across her red face. She’s so angry, so hurt. It started long before me, but I’m not helping. I never could. “Unless you hide behind it. You use it as an excuse to stop yourself from doing what you want. From acting like a normal, regular person. And don’t pretend you don’t hold yourself above other people who feel things and want things. You do. You shut yourself down, and you keep other people out, but you’re just as weak and vulnerable as anybody else. So you hide. And that’s pathetic.” Every word is like acid burning my skin, burrowing its way deep into my chest and through my skull.
I can’t show it. That would mean giving her what she wants, and I can’t. I refuse. “If telling yourself that makes you feel better, then fine. It doesn’t change anything.”
All she does is scoff and toss her golden head, staring at the wall behind me.
“It doesn’t. This cannot be. It shouldn’t be. It would never work out, and you would only end up hurting worse than you are now.”
“Do me a favor and stop pretending you actually care about how I feel. What you care about is what my father thinks of you. How it would look if you failed him. That’s what matters. You want me to be honest and face a few hard truths? Why don’t you try doing the same thing for once.”
“You want to hear some truth?” She raises her brows, expectant. In the time it takes my heart to beat, I know this is it. This is when I tell her everything. Why there’s no way we could ever work, even if we wanted to. How, when the chips were down, I couldn’t protect the person who needed me most. How I failed time and again, until one night…
I’ve been weak before, but I will not give in to weakness now. That’s what it would be: weakness. Unburdening myself in some immature, pointless effort to one-up her. To make sure she knows who she shares this house with, so she knows what I’m capable of, why shouldn’t push me too far.
“Well? I’m waiting. Illuminate me.”
I stand slowly, staring her down. I’m not the only one who pretends. She’s pretending now, acting like she isn’t terrified of what’s coming next. Like she’s not fighting to keep her body from trembling. “I’m not the man for you and never will be. Which is why this ends here and now. No more games. No more screwing around.”
You don’t need a man like me after everything you’ve been through. Why can’t I say it? Why?
“It makes sense, especially if all you care about is your job. You’re, like, obsessed with work. With my family. Probably with the life my father makes possible for you.”
Her gaze bounces around the room while she snorts. “I mean, who could blame you after growing up here? Listen. I get it. You found a good thing, and you’re holding on tight to it. Hell, I might respect you more if you’d come out and admit it instead of giving me this silly crap about not being the right man for me.”
The contempt radiating from her is enough to suck the air from the room. I can’t believe how deeply, how desperately I need to break her down. To show her the truth and shut her nasty little mouth for good. She can’t conceive of the shit I’ve seen. What I’ve done.
What I did for her.
“Nothing I say will change your mind, Tatum. You can think whatever you want..”
“I will, because it’s the truth!” She begins storming across the room, prepared to escape with the last word, but it’s not that simple. She’s not running away, not until we get one thing straight.
My hand encircles her bicep and I haul her close, hard enough that she almost bounces off my chest. Her face is a mask of pale fear and her mouth pops open with shock. Something dark and twisted rears up inside me. Yes. This is how I need her. Quiet. Fearful. I need her to know there’s a line she shouldn’t cross unless she’s prepared for the consequences.