Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
“Listen, man.” Austin glances at Dex before leaning in a little closer. “Do you think we didn’t figure it out?”
“It is what it is,” Dex murmurs. For once, he’s serious. “The timing was a little suspicious. We’re not complete idiots.”
“We didn’t get it at first, but you grow up. You put pieces together.” It brings to mind what Becky said. How eventually, she figured it out, too. “We get it now. You had your reasons.”
“Then you came back to town and acted like you were better than us.” Dex finishes his beer before slapping the empty bottle against the bar.
“That’s not fair.”
“Truth hurts.” He lifts an eyebrow. “Are you gonna tell me I’m wrong? Are you seriously going to sit there and lie to my face?”
“It was complicated. There are still things I can’t tell you about why I was here. It was safer…” Everything I’m saying is true, although I can’t expect them to understand or even believe me. And I’m going to have to live with that. “Trust me. I know I’m not any better than you. And for what it’s worth, it’s not so bad, being you.”
“Well, shit. I knew that.“ Dex winks while Austin laughs. “I got a good job. I’ve got a life I like. I see my friends, all that good shit.”
“Which is a hell of a lot better than most people have it,” Austin observes. He doesn’t have to tell me that.
“I just wanted you both to know it was never personal. And that I didn’t want to cut you out.”
“We already knew, but hearing you say it is good.” Austin holds up his fingers. “I’ll get the next round.”
Could it be this easy? It’s hard to believe they would be so quick to accept what I have to say. Like everything can be washed away now. They even know what I did – and they’ve been holding that secret for me all this time. It’s humbling. I don’t know what to do with the feeling of being seen, exposed. Understood, at least in part. All I can do is nod my head, accepting Austin’s offer. I’m not here to get drunk, but we have a lot of shit to catch up on. And it finally hits me that I want to know about their lives. There’s nothing wrong or weak about admitting I need people.
I only wish it hadn’t taken me this long to figure it out.
If I don’t do this now, with a few beers in me, I’ll never find the courage again. I have walked into buildings where I knew some men were ready to kill me, and I did it without an ounce of fear. No, it was a challenge, and I welcomed it. I marched ahead calmly, with purpose.
But here I stand in front of a chipped front door, and my knees are practically shaking. I grit my teeth against the impulse to leave before she knows I’m here, then tap my fist against the door.
Becky opens it, and her eyes widen when she sees me standing on her front porch. “What are you doing here?”
Becky wraps her arms around herself. The heavy cardigan she’s wearing practically swallows her body. The sound of the football game floats out from her living room.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt you watching the game or anything.” This was a bad idea. All it takes is a few beers for me to do something stupid. “But I was walking around nearby, and I figured I would stop over. Do you have a minute?”
“Sure. Come on in.”
She’s still wary, eyes narrowed, but she steps back and holds the door open for me. I’m keen to step inside, especially since the night has only gotten colder since I left the house. I blow on my cupped hands to warm them up – then notice she is not alone. There’s a lanky guy around our age sitting on the sofa, eating from a big bowl of popcorn and looking at me like I’m the enemy.
“Oh, shit. Seriously, I’m sorry. I can come back –”
“No, it’s fine.” She gestures toward the guy. “Romero, this is Jeff. Jeff, Romero.” Jeff jerks his chin in greeting.
Then, I notice another surprise, something else I wasn't expecting. There are toys scattered on the floor in front of the TV. “Wait a second. Are you… I mean, do you…”
She rolls her eyes, laughing. “Yes, I’m a mom. She’s three. Her name is Ava.” And even as she says it, a soft smile lights up her face. “I would introduce you, but she’s in bed.”
Well, fuck me. “Wow. I’m happy for you. That’s… That’s great.”
“Half time.” Jeff gets up, holding the bowl. “I’m going to refill this. Do you…” He looks at me, lifting his brows. “Can I get you anything?”
“Oh, thanks, but no. I’m not gonna stay long.” I throw Becky a helpless look, feeling like the world’s most enormous ass. “I just wanted to talk for a second, and then I’ll leave.”