Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92043 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92043 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
As he was spiraling into depression on the floor, he was drawn to a memory of his mother comforting him after he’d scraped his knee. Her soft voice telling him it would all be okay, that he was stronger than a few pebbles. He was a diamond. She wiped his tears away with a smile and made a joke that had always made him laugh. Then she’d hugged him tight. The warmth of her love had been like a cocoon, and for that one moment he had felt invincible.
Diamonds were the hardest element on the planet. They were virtually indestructible. They were also the most cherished gem, valued even above gold.
The only person who’d ever cherished him was her and she’d left him. She’d died. She hadn’t been strong like she promised. She hadn’t protected him from all the bruises and scars that came after her death. So what good was a single moment of lionhearted courage at seven when the only real danger had been falling off his bike?
A sob broke loose from his chest and as it left, that memory was destroyed.
He wasn’t a diamond. He wasn’t as strong as he pretended to be. His life was falling down around him, and no matter how hard he scrambled he couldn’t seem to hold the pieces together.
* * *
“Come on, Z. Let me drive you home. You’re half-dead from pain meds anyway.” Fitch’s deep voice rumbled through the cab of the truck as they pulled to a stop near the club.
“Thanks, but my bag is here.”
“So go get it. I’ll wait.”
Z sighed and looked at his friend’s boyfriend. The guy had a fucking heart of gold. Even though Z had insisted the boys not miss their performance, Fitch had stayed behind to make sure he was okay at the clinic. No matter how often Z said he’d be fine on his own, Fitch hadn’t left. Secretly, he was grateful. Because as much as he wanted to believe he was independent enough to do it all alone, he felt like he’d just gotten his guts ripped out through his foot.
“I need to stick around. I need to make sure they’re okay without me.”
“They’ll be fine.”
Ouch. That stung.
“Yeah, well.” He didn’t know what Ansel had told Fitch about their new deal with Castor so he didn’t elaborate further.
It was bad enough this injury was going to fuck him over, he couldn’t let it affect the boys. Which meant he’d have to talk to Castor. The thought made him queasy. Or maybe it was the handful of pain pills he’d been forced to swallow. Whatever, his stomach rolled with unease and his shoulders were tight with stress.
He still wore the sweat-stained clothes from rehearsal, Converse sneakers that had seen better days—one without laces to accommodate his basketball-sized ankle—and his ratty hair pulled up into a messy bun. No doubt he looked like hell, but right now he didn’t give a shit. There was no one to impress tonight.
Fitch’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. “Okay, so I’ll just park and hang out for a bit. When you’re ready I’ll drive you home.”
“You’re like a goddamn mama bear. I’m fine. I don’t need a babysitter. I can make it back to my place all on my own.” He didn’t want to drag Fitch into the shit with him.
“I swear to God you are all the same. No fucking wonder you get along so well. Fine, whatever.” Fitch sighed, and Z opened the door.
He rested the battered crutches the nurse had given him against the side of the truck and swung his braced foot out until it dangled in the air. Thankfully it wasn’t broken, but he wouldn’t be able to walk on it for a while and heels were out of the question. He slid out of the truck and landed on his good foot, steadying his balance with a hand until he could get the crutches under his arms.
“Call me if you need a ride or anything.”
“I will.” He wouldn’t. They both knew it.
Z waved. Fitch gave him the finger. Z smiled. Through the window he could see Fitch shake his head. Then the guy pulled onto the road and drove away.
Z really shouldn’t give Fitch such a hard time. He made Ansel happy and accepted the rest of them like extended family. Hell, he’d driven all the way from Jersey at a drop of a hat just to take Z to the clinic. If that wasn’t worthy of a little appreciation, Z didn’t know what was. But it was so much fun to tease the guy, and tonight he really needed the distraction.
He turned on his crutches and limped into the alley behind the club. A couple rats scurried under the trash bin as he approached. The pounding bass of a recent pop hit shook the walls. The back door into the dressing area was unlocked so he slipped into the dimly lit room. It was empty. Which meant the boys were backstage waiting for their cue.