Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
“You shouldn’t,” I blurt out.
He rears his head back. “What did you say?”
“I said you shouldn’t.” I shrug. “Take care of her.”
A storm brews in his eyes. “You have no idea. She’s done so much for me. When Mom died—”
“It was out of your control,” I interject. “You didn’t choose to lose your mother. Bailey has—will have a choice now. When they bring her back, she is going to have to make some tough decisions. And if she wakes up every day knowing you are there, by her side, babying her, I’m not sure she is going to make the right ones. You’re enabling her. Putting pressure on yourself by constantly trying to save someone who might not want to be saved. You’re setting both of you up for failure. It’s one thing to help someone through a journey. It’s another to willingly strap yourself into a vehicle with a deranged driver veering off the road—which is exactly what you’re doing.”
My face is heated, my voice is high-pitched, and I’m pretty sure I’m half screaming at the poor kid. And still, I’m in a can’t-stop, won’t-stop trance. “You have to stop living for other people. It’s not only being kind to yourself; it’s being kind to them too. Let Bailey go. Be there for her—always one phone call away. But don’t cancel your entire existence to nurse her. You will only fall out of love and happiness with her, the more of yourself you abdicate for her.”
He stares at me blankly, blinking. I feel like he can see through me. Like he is reading every single thing that’s on my mind.
“You speak from experience,” he says gently, kicking his feet back on the ground to give us a push on the swing.
The afternoon breeze caresses my face. I close my eyes, the faint scent of the ocean hitting the back of my nostrils. I don’t know how I survived all those years in Texas. Living next to the ocean is truly magical.
“I do.” I try to swallow the lump in my throat. “Yeah.”
“Yet you’re not letting Dad go.”
Smoothing an invisible crease on my pencil skirt, I say, “I am letting him go, actually. This morning, I signed up with a sperm bank website. I also decided to extend my lease on my apartment, so I’m not buying the place next to yours anymore. How is that for do-as-you-preach?”
The sympathy in his eyes makes me so uncomfortable, I have to look away.
“It’s…unfortunate.” He clears his throat. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you.”
“Yeah.” I smile. “So am I.”
We both stare ahead, at the orange peaks of the mountains bracketing the town.
I’m the first to speak again.
“So how do you feel about me right now? From one to ten. One is loathe the sight of you, and ten is love you like a mother.”
He frowns. “Between seven-and-a-half to eight.”
Am I blushing? It feels like I’m blushing. I was bracing myself for an average five. “Yay me. Well, get ready. I’m about to knock it down to around minus thirteen.”
Lev’s face hardens. “Dixie,” he is already chiding me. “You overstepped again, didn’t you?”
I wince.
He kicks the ground again to give us more momentum. “What’d you do?”
“I feel like I might have to stand up and put some distance between us before I tell you.”
“Oh, shit.” He looks down. “You’re wearing sneakers. You never wear sneakers. You know I can catch your ass if need be, right?”
Chuckling awkwardly, I plant my feet on the ground, stand up, and walk over to a spot near enough to the patio door.
Lev stares at me from the swing like I’m crazy. I probably am. I mean, who signs up a kid who doesn’t belong to her to military school? Against his father’s wishes? This idiot. Nice to meet you.
“I couldn’t help it.” I raise my palms in surrender.
“What did you do?” He stands up. Stands right in front of me.
“I…”
“Spit it out.” A few more steps in my direction. I’m sweating.
He is not going to murder me, is he? The Coles are all teddy bears. Big on the outside but mushy within.
“I applied to the Air Force Academy. Uh, on your behalf. Obviously.”
He freezes, his mouth hanging open. “What?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing myself for a hit. “You left. The laptop was there. Everything was filled out. Mistakes were made.”
Silence.
Shock.
Panic.
Not nearly enough oxygen.
I push through with my explanation.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I…I just… You deserve this win. You earned it.”
“Dixie.” He blinks in confusion. “It wasn’t even… All the documents…”
Good news is, he seems more speechless than…murderous. Small victories and all. “I didn’t even finish attaching all the… I mean, I don’t know if they’ll even have me.”
Then something wonderful happens. Well, wonderful and a bit disturbing.
Lev throws his head back, his shoulders shaking with glee. He is laughing, I realize, because he is relieved. Because not all is lost.