Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 155037 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 775(@200wpm)___ 620(@250wpm)___ 517(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 155037 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 775(@200wpm)___ 620(@250wpm)___ 517(@300wpm)
So far, everything had been pretty smooth sailing.
Boring, as Gilligan would say.
“Uh, right. Shit. I was just going to message Tink.”
“You finally going to tell her that you have the hots for her? That you want to do the nasty mumbo-jumbo when you get home and spread her open—”
Lachie smacked the back of his head. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Jokes, man. Jokes.”
“She’s my best friend, asshole.” She was also gorgeous, sweet, funny, and tough.
And she was his.
Now that he was finally getting out of this fucking place and going home, he was going to tell her how he felt.
“Don’t talk shit about Tink.”
Radar groaned as he came up beside him. “Gilligan, you know better than to tease Wildcard about his Tinkerbelle.”
Gilligan just grinned. “Come on, what else are we going to talk about? Your hemorrhoids?”
Gilligan took off as Radar raced after him. Sighing, Lachie followed them. He needed to find out what this scouting mission was about. And then he could message Tinkerbelle.
I’m coming home.
And then . . . I’m going to make you mine.
Five hours later . . . he stared into the dead face of his best friend. His entire body shook as he ran his gaze over the carnage and death surrounding him.
It had been an ambush.
An IED had taken out the first Humvee, leaving the five of them in the rear vehicle to attempt to fight them off. Somehow, he’d gotten cut off from the rest of his unit. And when he’d gotten back to them . . .
Dead. They were all dead.
All fucking dead. His fault. He should have been with them.
He should have died with them!
“Lachie! Wake up!”
The words barely penetrated the sludge surrounding him.
“Wake up! Please! I need you!”
Needed him.
Tink needed him.
He woke suddenly, shaking and sweaty, gasping for breath. Sitting up, his heart pounded as he stared around him.
His gaze hit the woman sitting on the bed with him, barely holding back her tears.
Isa.
His best friend. His girl.
If only he wasn’t fucked in the head, then she could have been his fucking everything.
Grabbing her, he drew her into his chest. He knew he probably stank. He shouldn’t be holding her like this. It was too much. He was holding her too tight.
You’re going to hurt her.
That brought him back to reality quicker than anything else would. He’d never hurt Isa. Not his Tinkerbelle.
And if he did . . . then he’d leave and never come back.
Taking a deep breath in, he let it out slowly and loosened his hold on her. It was then that her words started to penetrate the ringing in his ears.
“It’s all right. You’re okay, Lachie. I’m here.”
Lachie.
He wasn’t Lachie anymore. Or rarely, anyway.
Only Isa used his real name on occasion. More and more he was falling into Loki.
“Loki,” he muttered.
He had to be Loki now. Because Lachie had lost his friends, his sanity, and any chance at a future with his girl.
Shit. He just realized that he’d had a nightmare and Isa had come in to wake him.
Rolling to his side, he cupped her face with his hand as he frowned at her. “What the fuck, Tinkerbelle?”
Her lower lip slid out on a pout. “You were yelling and crying out. I couldn’t just ignore you.”
“You should have fucking ignored me and you know it. I was stuck in a nightmare. What if I thought you were a threat? What if I thought you were an insurgent and I tried to fucking kill you?”
Just the idea of hurting his Tinkerbelle was enough to make him panic. To have him fighting for air.
He sat up, pulling his legs to his chest as he leaned his forehead on his knees.
“Lachie. Breathe. Please, breathe.” Her small hand rubbed his back.
She was tiny in comparison to him. So damn breakable. Physically, anyway. Mentally, she was strong, far tougher than him.
There were times he felt like he was breaking apart . . . shattering into a million pieces.
And he had no idea how to put himself back together.
She moved in behind him, trying to wrap her arms and legs around him.
“You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine. You have to trust yourself more. You’ve never hurt me.”
That was the thing, though, wasn’t it?
He didn’t trust himself. And he’d never risk her safety.
Sometimes, Loki didn’t think he should even be living with her.
Except he needed her with him. He had to watch over her.
Yeah, great fucking job you’re doing.
His breath came in short gasps, and the room spun around him.
Can’t breathe.
“Focus on the things around you. What can you hear?” she asked.
It was a trick his therapist had taught him, one he’d taught her.
“Loki, listen to me. What are three things you can hear?” she asked.
Isa shouldn’t have to do this for him. She’d worked late tonight and was tired. Hmm, was she working late a lot lately? Fuck, he should notice things like that.