Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 75871 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75871 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
“Yes. No. Kind of. Ugh!” Colby set the box on the floor, then lay back on Vince’s bed, their legs hanging over the side. “It’s about everything. I didn’t love her…I mean, I wasn’t in love with her. How did you know you were in love with Gregory?”
Ah, hell. Greg was the last person Vince wanted to talk about, but then, he also wanted to be there for Colby. “I need to be more comfortable for this.” He moved up higher on the bed so his head was on the pillows. Colby did the same. “I’m not sure I’m the best person to talk to about being in love. I’ve been in love with exactly one person, who was terrible, narcissistic, and cheated on me both times we were together.”
“That says something about him, not you. I hate thinking about you being hurt, but you’re also the kind of man who gave him a second chance. You were able to give your heart to him again, and I…”
“You what?”
“Nothing. I’ve never been in love, is all.” He looked away as if that was a character flaw…as if he was ashamed.
Vince pushed up onto his elbow, lying on his side so he looked down at Colby. He cupped Colby’s cheek and angled his head back. “It’s okay that you haven’t been in love. In fact, I think that says you know who you are more than you think. You’re not willing to settle until you find the right person. You’re not going to marry someone just because you feel you should. Your family is great. I love them—they’re pretty perfect. It feels like I’m in a TV show with them sometimes, and it takes balls not to just do what they’ve all done, or what they think you should do. You’re honest with yourself; you just feel guilt for being who you are when you shouldn’t. There’s nothing wrong with wanting something different. Your family loves you, and they’ll love you regardless.” Vince brushed his thumb back and forth over Colby’s cheek for a moment before pulling it away.
“I still don’t know what I want. Outside of not getting married, I’ve done everything Covingtons do simply because…well, because that’s what we do. I never considered anything else. I’ve never left, never moved or experienced life outside Briar County. I got a business degree online. I work the farm like is expected of me.”
“Roe left. He moved to DC and went to college there. He lived there for years afterward, and he doesn’t work the farm.”
“I’m not Roe. And I don’t mean that as a slight against my brother. He’s the best man there is, but Roe has always known what he wants and who he is. Hell, he came out as a teenager in a small town when he’d never even met an out queer person in his life. They expect Roe to do his own thing. They don’t expect it from me. Plus, I think Roe being queer played a part in that. To my parents, that gave him a reason to need to explore the world some. What the fuck reason do I have?”
“You don’t need a reason, babe. Not at all. You don’t want to live here? You don’t want to work the farm?”
He fisted the strands of his hair in what looked like frustration. “That’s what makes this even worse. I’m feeling all sorts of dumb shit, when the truth is, maybe this is what I want. It doesn’t make a damn bit of sense.”
“Yes, it does. There’s nothing wrong with wanting experience, wanting to try different things. You’re allowed that. You have the right to figure out what you want, even if that means trying different things until you land on something, or trying different things and still landing on working the farm and living here.”
He looked up at Vince with an expression Vince couldn’t figure out. It was soft…unsure. “Yeah?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
“I’m not too old?”
Vince rolled his eyes. “If you’re old, then I’m old, and I’m not having that. I feel like I failed in my commitment to shake up your world. We’re gonna figure this out, you and me.”
He grinned, and damn, Vince liked making his friend do that. “Together, huh?”
“Yep. That’s what we do. Everyone is talking about you getting married; don’t they realize we’re basically married to each other? We live and work together. We spend most of our spare time together. One day you might find a person you want to spend your life with, and they’ll have to accept me. That’s a rule.”
Colby laughed. “What about you?”
“Yeah, that’s not happening again. I told you already I’m not having a serious relationship again. I don’t have it in me to risk my heart a third time. I’ve never wanted to get married anyway, so I’m just going to stay nice and safe and clear of relationships. I see lots of no-strings-attached sex in my future.”