Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 129571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 648(@200wpm)___ 518(@250wpm)___ 432(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 648(@200wpm)___ 518(@250wpm)___ 432(@300wpm)
“Good-bye, Benny.” She opened the door and strolled out as if I’d never said anything at all.
Was she scared, or was she being Sophia, plotting in the way she always did?
The woman scared me.
She had this futuristic method of thinking. She was a chess player of life. Every one of her plays had five different outcomes ahead of it, and she understood all those results and countermoves, before anyone else comprehended it.
“My God.” I buried my face into my hands and laughed. “What are you doing to me, God? Two women having babies by a madman. I am no father. I’m a killer, you miserable fuck! Either you’re an evil God or some devil planned the whole damn thing.”
I closed the journal and wondered to myself.
Had Sophia lied about being pregnant by Benny? Or was it Vivian’s mother that made it up?
From Benny’s point of view he barely craved his wife. It was always Sophia all throughout the journals. They had sex a lot. Way more than the few times Benny discussed his drunken nights of stupidity with his wife. On those evenings, he would stumble into the house, wake up his wife, and make love to her as he imagined Sophia’s face on his wife’s body.
Benny’s most likely the father of Jasmine and Troy. There’s a good chance. Maybe Vivian’s mother lied.
I glanced around my seat at Sophia. After that phone call with Jasmine and Troy, I decided to keep her near me. I hadn’t trusted her before, now no faith lay between us. If her own kids didn’t hold her high, I wouldn’t either.
And if she had something to do with Jasmine being away from me, I might end up killing her myself.
No more. There would be no more of these sick people, tearing us apart as if we were dolls in a playhouse, just waiting to be maneuvered and pulled on.
I won’t have it anymore.
I tilted over to get a better look at her. Snores fled from Sophia’s opened mouth. For once in the whole day of being around her, she actually seemed completely human. Something had been off with her before. What kind of women kept her cool, when she’d just heard that her daughter had ran off with a psycho? What kind of woman could stay with a man that keeps bodies in his apartment, and calls that a garden?
How bad is, Sophia? And will I have to get rid of her, too? Would she hurt Jasmine?
Maybe that was why I continued to read Benny’s journals. I poured through them. Page by page. The whole six hours I read. My head hurt so bad, I had the stewardess give me some pain medication. Yet, still I read and did my best to examine this lunatic of a man.
I haven’t decided if I’m going to kill my kids or not. I’m talking about the twins of course.
I live behind their eyes. In the boy named Troy, my anger rages. In the girl, Jasmine, my wisdom lives on. My spirit flows within their tanned skin and golden green eyes. My beast is reflected in them, and I am whole.
So I haven’t decided if I’m going to kill them or not.
With the twins, Sophia has too much power over me.
She’s confirmed my weakness.
Children.
She’s created a bond through my weakness.
My children.
From their birth I became her thug and pawn. She guides me and I turn, move, and step in the direction that she wants.
Sophia has put a target on our kids’ head, and she doesn’t even understand it all.
My love for her, though strong and electric, it has shattered. I won’t kill her, but I might take those little ones away from her, in the most permanent way possible.
Of course I say all of these bold things now, and then show up to her apartment, that shitty two bedroom that she refuses to move out of.
I show up, and the twins run to me. They don’t even know who I am. So little and innocent. They think I’m their mother’s friend. Those tiny toddler minds will forget these moments.
But they run over to me, and my insides build and tighten and rise up, and I am whole.
“This is the last time.” I escaped Sophia’s arms, rolled over to the other side of the bed, and searched for my pants.
“Last time?” She just leaned over to the side, those plump breasts, bare and on display for me.
No matter how much of a satanic siren she’d become, my cock twitched against my leg, begging for more.
“What do you mean this is the last time?” she purred.
“Last time we fuck. Last time I shoot a man and hide him in the alley. This is the last time. You call me, and it better only be about money for Jasmine and Troy.”
“I don’t need your money. I need your protection.”