Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 70716 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 354(@200wpm)___ 283(@250wpm)___ 236(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70716 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 354(@200wpm)___ 283(@250wpm)___ 236(@300wpm)
It’s a hurt, a hurt that runs so deep I don’t know how to live without it. I don’t know how to make it stop; I don’t know how to rid my soul of it so I can live freely. I don’t know how to do anything anymore.
I don’t even know who I am.
Right now, though, seeing Cohen walk toward me ... I want him. I want him to wrap his arms around me, to tell me it’s okay, to make love to me until I can’t feel anything anymore. The intensity of that want is all consuming and my knees tremble with the sudden onset of it.
I remember a time when he made it better.
When he saved me from my family.
When he held me as I cried.
When he kissed me for the first time.
I remember it all.
I remember how he smelt, how he tasted, how it felt.
“Hey,” he says when he reaches me.
His fingers curl around my shoulders and he squeezes, trying to snap me out of whatever little zone I’m in. A zone I don’t quite understand.
“Aviana, focus on me, yeah?”
My eyes meet his, and I stare at him with all the pain, hurt, and shattered pieces I’ve been stashing deep in my soul. “Why, Cohen?” I whisper, my voice far too shaky to make an appearance. “Why did you hurt me like that?”
He stares at me, and his face is full of so many emotions I can’t quite pinpoint a single one. He looks hurt, and confused, and even a little angry. At himself? At me? I don’t know.
“I fucked up. I made the worst mistake of my life doin’ that to you, but you gotta know at the time, I thought it was the safest thing. I truly thought I was doin’ right by you. I thought you would get a new identity and you’d be able to start your life fresh...”
“You could have taken me away, could have told me what you were keeping from me, could have kept me safe yourself.”
“I couldn’t have done that. The club couldn’t have done that. Your entire family was dead and you saw me do it. You watched me suck the life from their bodies. You were never goin’ to unsee that. You were never goin’ to be safe. The best thing for you, at the time, was for everyone in the world to think you were dead.”
I shake my head, breaking eye contact. I can’t hear any more. I don’t want to hear any more. I just want all of this to stop.
“I can’t make it stop, Cohen. I can’t make any of it go away. It’s breaking me. I need it to stop. Do you understand me? I need you to make it stop.”
My voice raises toward the end of the sentence, becoming frantic and desperate. My body shakes and my heart pounds. I feel desperate and needy, like if something doesn’t happen soon, I will lose it. I’ll just lose it.
“I can’t make it stop, Aviana. Only you can do that.”
“You can!” I scream, slamming my open hand onto his chest. It makes a slapping sound as it connects with his warm skin. “You can make it stop, you can.”
“Aviana, I can’t.”
“Please,” I beg, my fingers curling now against his skin, my nails scratching into him. “Please, Cohen.”
“Fuck.”
He takes my chin in his hand and tips my head back, looking down at me. Then, before I know what’s happening, he’s kissing me. His mouth is covering mine in the most intense and incredible kiss I’ve probably ever received in my short life. His lips are full and warm and he tastes incredible. His body is hard and firm and, as he pulls me against him, I can feel every inch of it. I want more and, yet, I want him to stop.
Our tongues clash and our kiss becomes frantic. I reach up and curl my fingers into his hair and, with a feral growl, he scoops me up off the ground and into his arms, then he’s striding toward his room with purpose. He shoves the door open, not once breaking the kiss, and he walks me straight to his bed where he lays me down, his hard body covering mine.
It’s only then I remember he’s sharing a room with two men.
I pull my mouth from his and look over to where the other two beds are.
“Samson and Bohdi are in here.”
“Then you’ll have to be really fuckin’ quiet.”
His mouth finds mine again and he kisses me into submission, his hands roaming over my body, touching every single part of me. His fingers are gentle, but his hands are rough, and with every stroke he eases something inside of me.
We don’t waste time.
It could be desperation or purely need.
Either way, he has me naked in seconds and as he slips off his pants, he becomes naked, too. His hard body falls over mine and feeling his skin against my own makes me tremble. Smelling him, feeling the power he’s holding as he towers over me, makes me want to scream with satisfaction. His mouth drowns out every moan as he slowly pushes his cock inside of me, inch by inch, filling me and stretching me in a way I couldn’t even begin to dream about.