Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
“No.” Ned shook his head. “Fuck the buts. They’re bullshit words that talk us outta going after what we deserve.”
“Yeah, but—”
An empty beer can ricocheted off Breck’s forehead.
“No buts.”
Breck growled and rubbed his brow.
Ned grinned. And for some reason, that smile made it hard to be irritated.
Breck dropped his hand. “Thing is, it’s not just about me. What about my dad?”
“Is it his life we’re talking about here, or is it yours? Who’s gotta live with the choices you make? You, or your dad?”
Breck scowled and looked away. “It’s not that simple.”
“I beg to differ. I think it is. Answer me this: will you be happy if you let Kai get away? Will basketball be enough? The limelight? The money? Dad’s appeasement? Will those things give you what you need late at night, when you’re all alone? Or worse, when you’re lying in bed with someone you don’t even want? While the someone you do want has moved on with someone else? Is that the future you’re fighting so hard for? Is that the life you truly want to live? ’Cause you only got one. This one, right now. Why wouldn’t you do everything in your power to make it the best it can possibly be?”
Breck peered over at him. “What if, in the process of going after what I want, I lose my shot at the one thing I’ve worked my entire life for?”
“Bah!” Ned waved off the notion. “What ifs are just as bad as buts. But fine. For the sake of argument, I’ll go with that shit and pose another question in response. What if, by going for it, you win everything you’ve worked for—including your man?”
“That’s a pretty big gamble, G.”
“Yeah, but you know what’s a sure fucking thing? Half of a life if you stay on this course. Fame and fortune, but a stunted soul from only ever being half the person you are. With a head full of regrets and a heart full of longing. Is that the future you’re really so afraid to lose?”
“Jesus,” Breck drawled. “When you put it like that.”
Groaning, he dropped his head back into his hands. “I’m just so sick of stressing over this shit. Sometimes I don’t even care about basketball anymore. The stardom. What my dad fuckin’ thinks. I just… God, all I fuckin’ want is to be with Kai.”
“So go be with him.”
Breck’s heart squeezed miserably. He dropped his hands and looked at his friend. “It’s not that simple. He’s done with me. Has washed his hands. All the stupid crap I’ve pulled… He’s tired of my shit.”
“Maybe, but don’t forget, he seriously digs the rest of you. And that, my boy, still holds a shit ton of weight.”
“What if he doesn’t, though? What if he’s turned off his feelings?”
“Not possible.” Ned shook his head. “Not at the level he’s been into you. Remember what he told you? That he didn’t share his sex mojo with just anyone, that he held that shit sacred? Well, hello. He shared that sacred-ass shit with you. Had sex with you. So, what does that mean? That you’re special to him. Like really special. You just need to convince him that you’re still worth the fight.”
“How?” Breck asked. “’Cause I honestly don’t know.” He’d fucked up so many times, he wouldn’t even know where to start.
“Dude.” Ned slid him a smirk. “You’re a fuckin’ point-guard. A literal playmaker. Form a plan and then make it happen. Just like out on the court.”
Breck opened his mouth to contest Ned’s logic, but Ned kept on going. “He doesn’t wanna be your secret? Done. You’ll be fixing that shortly. What else was your bigshot, dumb ass doing that was working his nerve… Over-the-top partying, all the hoochies…” He chuckled. “Clearly, the women aren’t an issue anymore. The drinking, however…” He rubbed his chin. “Think you can do it? Pump the breaks on the booze? God knows, you’re just as big a lush these days as fuckin’ Jay.”
Breck’s laugh held zero humor. “Yeah, not a problem. I’ve had enough alcohol to tide me over for a while.”
“So, you’re good! You’ve got this, dude! Go get him!” Ned leveled him with a grin that lit Breck’s insides with hope.
Can I do this?
Am I actually considering it?
His heart raced with equal parts excitement and anxious dread. Excitement at getting Kai back and the end to his hiding. Dread at gambling his future—and the fallout with his dad. A happy future was worth the price, though. And so was Kai. He realized that now. He couldn’t believe that he’d actually been planning to let him get away.
“It’s not gonna be easy,” he murmured. “Kai’s a resolute guy. I’m gonna have to jump through some serious hoops.”
Ned snickered. “Say goodbye to your pride. It can lick its wounds later… when your sated ass is a puddle in that stallion’s bed.”