Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 67098 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 335(@200wpm)___ 268(@250wpm)___ 224(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67098 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 335(@200wpm)___ 268(@250wpm)___ 224(@300wpm)
“Slate!” I smacked his ass. “Don’t talk to him like that.”
Slate ignored me and continued to stare down my admirer. “Now.”
In a small act of defiance, Hugh looked at me. “It was nice to meet you. Take care.” He kept his cool and walked back to the table where his friends were waiting.
Now I was even more furious with Slate. “I told you I never wanted to see you again—”
“This has tortured me every single day. Every morning when I wake up, I think it’s going to get easier, and it never does.” One arm rested on the bar while the other gripped the back of my chair. He boxed me in so I had nowhere to go. “Coen told me he wanted to date you, and that was a nightmare in itself. But knowing you’re out here picking up guys…makes me sick to my stomach.”
None of this made me feel better. It only made me feel worse. “You can’t throw a fit every time you get jealous—”
“I’m not throwing a fit—not this time.” He lowered his voice so only I could hear. “I’m miserable without you. I haven’t even been tempted to go back to my old ways. I haven’t wanted to go out and pick up someone new. All I do is stay home and drink until the pain stops…but it never does.” His eyes shifted back and forth as they looked into mine. “You were right about me. I do have trust issues. That bitch fucked me up pretty bad. She made me look like a fool to the entire world and ripped my family apart. The worst part of it was losing my brother—not losing her. I haven’t been able to get close to anyone ever since, not a single soul. I turned into a gargoyle, a statue that sits in his castle and watches everyone else live their lives. I paid for sex because it gave me all the control. But then I met you…and I wanted to keep you without losing that control.”
I hung on every word, wanting to forgive him and go back to his place. But then I remembered that nothing had changed, that he’d pulled this stunt once before. “You did the same thing when I met Wyatt. You told me you were going to try, and you never did. Nothing was different, and you treated me like something you paid for.”
“Cherry, I know—”
“It won’t be any different this time. You’ve already hurt me twice now, and I won’t survive a third time.”
“I won’t hurt you again.”
I wanted to believe those big, brown eyes. “Yes, you will. Jealousy brought you here, not love. You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me. I’m a piece of property, and you want people off your land. It’s…disgusting.”
His eyes narrowed in agony.
“I’m looking for love. I’m looking for a good man. I’m looking for trust, commitment, devotion. You’re too damaged to offer me those things. You’re too distrusting. I’ve been honest and loyal from the very beginning, but you’ve never trusted me. That will never change. You’ll never change.”
His jaw tightened as the pain filled his eyes.
“We want different things. You want domination, control, ownership…I want love. Goodbye, Slate.” I grabbed my drink and slid off the chair. I headed to the table where the man had returned to his friends. I refused to look back at the disappointed look on Slate’s face. I had to focus on the future, on moving on. He was only there because jealousy made him territorial. He wasn’t there because he loved me, because he couldn’t live without me.
He was just a selfish asshole.
17
Slate
I didn’t realize how late it was until Jillian came into my office. “We’re leaving for the day. Is there anything else I can get you before we take off?”
I glanced at the clock and realized it was almost six. “No, enjoy your weekend.”
“You too, Mr. Remington.” She walked out with the other assistants.
I stayed at my desk because I had nowhere to go. My brother was still living with me, and I didn’t want to face him. Now when I looked at him, I thought of Monroe. I hadn’t asked how their night went. I didn’t ask if Monroe went home with that pretty boy because I couldn’t swallow the answer.
I’d never felt so terrible in my life.
I had the strangest sensation in my throat. It was constantly constricting, constantly getting tight and warm. My heart seemed to grow several times bigger, and my chest could barely contain it any longer. My body was out of whack because it was so focused on fighting the pain.
If only I could take a Vicodin for this.
I looked out the glass window to the city behind. Now that it was winter, it was already dark by five. The city was illuminated with glorious lights all over the place. I had nowhere to go and no purpose, so I sat there and watched the city thrive while I stopped living altogether.