Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
“Good,” I returned.
His eyes met mine and a fleeting smile crossed his lips.
“I gave Rabbit enough medication that he’d be as comfortable as possible but still able to talk to me. I couldn’t hold his hand like I wanted so I put my pinky finger against his. The drugs made him sleepy and he slurred his words, but he was able to tell me most of what had been happening while I’d been gone. His last words before he fell asleep were him begging me to make it all stop. After that, I spent hours scouring the internet about his condition. The nurse had left behind a laptop which didn’t have any kind of passcode on it, so I was able to read through Rabbit’s entire medical chart. I had enough medical training at that point to understand most of it. When I was done, I called my father and Rabbit’s mother and railed at them for not being at their son’s side. My father told me we would talk again when I’d calmed down and was ready to speak to them with the respect they deserved.”
I’d moved my body so I could sit between Lincoln’s outstretched legs. I was facing him and holding both his hands in mine. His grip spoke volumes, but his expressions were the loudest. I was glad he’d come back from that place he’d started to disappear into, but another hard truth hit me.
The worst was yet to come and that would be when he needed me most. I just hoped to God that I could be what he needed.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LINCOLN
As bad as my chest hurt, and it still felt like my head was going to fucking explode at every moment, Theo’s touch kept me where I needed to be… on the tail of that secret I’d been running from for so long and was now chasing down so I could begin to rid myself of the claws tearing away a little more of my soul day after day.
My throat hurt from talking so much but I didn’t dare stop to take a quick sip from the stream that was just feet away. If I didn’t finish this now, I never would.
“I had enough medical knowledge to know how to keep Rabbit as comfortable as possible, but the drugs just took the edge off and nothing more. We spent almost three days just talking. About me and my deployment, about his disease and how he felt about it. I learned that despite seeing all the specialists, my father and stepmother hadn’t been honest with Rabbit about his prognosis. He’d had to overhear it from one of his in-home nurses who’d made a comment to another staff member about how cruel it was to put the kid through all this for the rest of his life. My father and stepmother had been telling him that he was being given medications that would eventually cure him. They’d been telling him that for years. So when he heard that nurse say what she did—”
“It took away his hope,” Theo quietly interjected.
I managed a quick nod.
“Rabbit was able to research his own condition after that, so he knew what his future would look like. The notes in his chart had mentioned several specialists, including the most well-respected one in the world, suggesting they talk to Rabbit about his prognosis and let him be a part of the decision on whether to continue life-saving measures.”
“Like the feeding tube and IV,” he murmured.
“Palliative care,” I responded. Theo nodded in understanding. He’d asked me once why I’d chosen to work in palliative care and while I hadn’t been one hundred percent truthful, he got it now.
“Rabbit begged me to help him. He knew he would just slowly wither away in that bed since even sitting in a wheelchair would have caused him endless amounts of pain. And the pain, it was just never going to end. I knew what he wanted me to do and even though my heart fought me on it, my brain won out. My grandmother on my father’s side had left me a sizeable trust when she died. I think she’d seen the way I was part of my father’s new family but not really part of it, so she’d wanted to make sure I could do whatever I wanted with my life and not be reliant on my father’s money. I’d gotten access to the trust when I’d turned twenty-one but hadn’t used any of the money at that point. It was enough that I could have spent my entire life without needing to work for even a single day.”
I paused for a moment as I remembered my grandmother. She’d died when I’d still been pretty young, so I hadn’t known her well, but I remembered her always sneaking me sweets when my parents weren’t looking.