Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
But fuck if his hand didn’t feel good, especially when he began running it over my pecs and collarbone.
Like he was trying to memorize what he could only touch, not see. I dropped my head back against the wall in an effort to keep from reaching behind me to pull my T-shirt off so Theo could have free roam. I closed my eyes and let myself have a few seconds of Theo’s achingly sweet touch.
Unfortunately, having two hands freely exploring my upper body made it that much harder to remember why I couldn’t just lift Theo up and carry him to his bed. I could tell by the way he was breathing that he’d let me do it. I actually glanced at the bed to see if I’d have to navigate any furniture but when my eyes fell on the hair tie sitting next to Theo’s packed bag, reality slammed into me like a freight train.
It took every bit of mental strength to close my hands over Theo’s roving ones. I liked that his skin felt warmer now, but it didn’t solve anything.
“What?” Theo asked in surprise. “Did I hurt you?” His eyes immediately searched out the small bullet hole scar right below my collarbone. He’d been rubbing a finger across it right before I’d forced his hands to stop moving.
“God, no,” I choked out. My dick felt like it was going to bust out of my pants.
I swore I saw a flicker of amusement in Theo’s eyes at my response, but he shuttered it quickly. I also saw the moment he realized the position we were in. As soon as he remembered whatever he’d been feeling before I’d entered the room, he predictably tried to break free of my hold, but I knew if I let him go, he’d clam up again and I’d never know what I’d done to hurt him.
I still had a hold of his wrists, so I gently turned one arm over and softly pressed my lips to the bandage covering his new cuts. The move had him stilling for a moment. When I lifted my head, I allowed him to move off my lap but that was as far as I would let him go. I needed to be touching him during our upcoming conversation, but I couldn’t explain why. After all, how did you explain something you yourself didn’t really understand?
“Are you the one who brought me the cake?” I asked.
Theo took a long time to nod before saying, “Ford asked me to.”
His lie hurt.
A lot.
A lot more than I’d been ready for.
I released my hold on Theo and untangled our limbs so I could get off the window seat. Theo didn’t try to stop me, nor did he ask me why I was moving. From the way he turned his body away from me, I figured he already knew why.
I went and sat on the edge of the bed so that I was still facing him. Everything about it was wrong. I wanted him back in my arms. I wanted his touch, his eyes exploring every part of my body. I wanted to do the same to him even though I already knew what he looked like naked since I’d had to undress him to treat him for his infection.
I’d seen the scars.
All of them.
The ones he’d likely inflicted upon himself.
And the ones he wouldn’t have been able to. The marks someone else had left on him so he’d never forget whatever fucked-up lesson or punishment they were literally driving into his skin.
“Ford knows I don’t typically eat sweets,” I said softly. “And he’d never enter my room without my permission. Neither would Cam.”
Theo didn’t respond. He was sitting cross-legged on the window seat. As usual, his eyes were looking down and he was picking at a loose thread on his sweats.
“Fine. I brought you the cake. I wasn’t hungry but I didn’t want to offend Ford by not accepting it.”
I was quiet for a long time as I considered my next move. I wanted to help Theo with everything I was, but what if he was already too far gone? And hadn’t I been reminding myself on the ride back to the house tonight that I couldn’t allow myself to get even more emotionally tied to the young man than I already was? I was already bogged down by enough of my own shit.
“I can hear it now,” I murmured. Now I was the one with my head hung as I studied my fingers. “I used to need to see your eyes to know when you were lying, but I can hear it in your voice now too.”
I forced myself to lift my head so I could see how he responded. Instead of picking at his sweats, he was running his nails against his thigh.