Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Hard.
Thankfully, the fabric would protect his skin but with the amount of force he was using, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up with some bruises.
At least a minute of silence went by. It was a standoff of sorts, I supposed.
“I want you to leave,” Theo said, his voice shaky.
Good. That meant he hadn’t slipped away to that safe place in his head where the rest of the world didn’t exist.
He was still my Theo.
“Why did you cut yourself after leaving the cake in my room?” I asked.
The blunt question got a reaction out of Theo. He practically jumped to his feet and stalked to the bedroom door. “I asked you to leave!” he snapped.
My own anger flared to life, and I was on my own feet before I could get a hold of my temper. I strode to the door but instead of walking through it, I yanked it from his grip and nearly slammed it shut but remembered at the last moment that the noise would carry throughout the house and we’d end up with unwanted company. Theo had taken several steps backwards in the process. I made sure he saw me flip the lock on his door.
“You wanted to send me a message, Theo,” I said as calmly as I could. “You wanted me to come here and see what you’d done. You wanted me to see your fucking bag and this…” I continued as I moved past him to grab the hair tie off the bed. “If you hadn’t, you would have locked the fucking door and I would have left you alone, assuming you were asleep. But you knew I’d come to thank you for the cake.”
With the tie in my hand, I stepped into Theo’s personal space. Not surprisingly, he backed up. We continued the little dance until his back hit the wall and he had nowhere to go. When he tried to push past me, I grabbed his wrists and pinned them next to his head.
“I’m here. I know what you did to yourself, and I know I’m the cause of it, but guess what? You don’t get to cut the pain I caused you away anymore. Whatever you were trying to get out by watching blood stream down your arm didn’t do shit, did it?”
Theo began to struggle in earnest, but I used my bigger body to keep him pinned to the wall.
“Let go!” he snarled, but he kept his voice down. He could have screamed for Ford or Cam anytime he wanted, but the fact that he didn’t told me he needed this. He needed it as badly as I did.
“Why did you cut yourself, Theo?” I demanded.
“Fuck you,” he snapped in response.
“What did I do to hurt you?” I forced myself to keep the question hard even though deep down I wanted to plead with him to answer it.
“It had nothing to do with you!”
“What did I do to hurt you?” I repeated, softening my voice because I could see the despair in his eyes. His body was still fighting me but those same emotions that had made him draw that razor over his skin were welling to the surface like the pressure of a volcano about to blow.
“Fuck you, Lincoln. You don’t know shit. You can’t hurt me because I don’t give a shit about you! Jesus, did you actually think our talk this afternoon meant anything?” he sneered.
His desperation tore at my heart. He’d actually stopped struggling completely but I continued to keep my body against his and his wrists pinned. What little skin I was touching was so fucking cold.
“What did I do to hurt you, sweetheart?” I asked. I couldn’t stop myself from skimming my lips over his temple.
Theo jerked his head back and forth. Even though he wasn’t struggling anymore, his body was shaking violently. He needed his fix. He needed pain to quell the words his brain wouldn’t allow him to say.
“Theo, please,” I whispered as I pressed my forehead against his.
“You left,” he responded so softly I almost didn’t hear him. “I… I thought this afternoon at the stream…” Theo shook his head. “I told you things and then you were gone and with somebody else and I told myself I didn’t give a shit, but then I opened your door to leave the cake and your bed was empty and the fucking hair tie wasn’t enough—”
I dipped my head and captured his mouth with mine before he could say another word. The second he’d said “somebody else,” I’d understood. He’d thought I’d been with another guy.
Theo whimpered as my tongue slid against his in silent greeting. I fully expected him to push me away when he tugged his wrists free of my hold but instead, he twined his arms around my neck.