Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 136915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 685(@200wpm)___ 548(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
“Amo.”
“You deserve to give this to your husband.”
“You want me to be with someone else.”
“No,” he growled, fierceness twisting his face. “You are mine, only mine.”
“And are you mine?”
Amo touched his forehead to mine. “Every part of me that matters, my soul, my heart, my love, is yours. It’ll always be yours.”
“That’s enough for me. Make love to me Amo.”
I saw the conflict in his eyes but also desire and longing. He wanted this, we’d both wanted this for so long.
“Not yet,” he murmured but his voice was becoming less convincing.
I smiled against his mouth. “Okay.” Deep down I knew it wouldn’t have been the right time, not yet, but eventually it would come.
We kept kissing and I didn’t want this moment to end. I wished we could conserve it, until our next encounter.
When Amo left the next day, our goodbye hurt even worse than the previous time. Maybe because no end was in sight. After a deep breath, I got to work in the stables. Life had to go on. I tried to focus on the good: my animals, my family, ballet, and not on the part that was missing: Amo.
Over the next few months Amo managed to visit my sanctuary every three weeks. It wasn’t enough. It was better than nothing. It was safer than to meet more frequently and to risk someone getting suspicious. It was… hard.
Lying became second nature. My anxiety when I looked at my brother or father or mother and lied without hesitation never ceased, and I took it as a good sign. I didn’t want deceit to leave me cold. I wanted to feel anxious when I betrayed the ones I loved. I didn’t want this to become normal, even if it was part of my life for now and the unforeseeable future.
This meeting felt even more potent, because it was early December and possibly our last meeting this year.
“I’ll try to come here between Christmas and the New Year. I wish I could spend Christmas with you,” Amo murmured against my temple as we lay in bed after a delicious make-out session that had my core still throbbing from the aftermath of two orgasms. I could never get enough of Amo’s lips and tongue between my legs. Amo’s resolve was still strong and we hadn’t taken the next step. We enjoyed each other without sex, but I longed for an even deeper connection. I wasn’t sure if sex would provide it.
“I know you’ll be busy with your family over the holidays, just like me.”
I loved Christmas, the decorations—though some of the flashing lights that Gemma and Savio put up gave me vertigo—the food, the cheer. Our Christmases were always wonderful, but I knew this year, even worse than last year, I’d miss Amo. Christmas was meant to be spent with your loved ones…yet, he was thousands of miles away.
I didn’t want to think about it now. I tilted my head up and pulled Amo down for a kiss, my tongue sneaking in. Amo’s fingertips brushed along my spine before he cupped my ass cheek possessively. Our touches became more urgent.
Amo’s phone rang and he straightened with a groan then began fumbling in his pocket for his phone. Once he’d managed to pull it out, he slanted a look at the screen. “Maximus. He probably wants us to meet for drinks.”
I bit my lip. I wished I could meet Amo’s best friend. I wished I knew more about his daily life than what he could share with me. He told me more than he probably should, considering our families’ problematic relationship.
He answered the call and instantly his expression tightened and his body became tense. “Where?” He nodded as he lifted me off his lap and stood. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not in New York right now. I’ll try to come over as quickly as I can but I don’t think I can be there before tonight.” Amo listened to something the other man said, then gave a sigh. “I’ll deal with my father. Be careful and don’t do anything stupid. I know this is personal but you need to keep a cool head.”
He lowered his phone and his expression became regretful as he regarded me. He knelt on the bed and kissed me. “I’ll have to leave immediately. I fucking hate it but my friend and the Famiglia need me.”
“It’s okay. You’re going to be Capo soon. You need to be there when it matters.”
Amo nodded once, gave me another kiss and rose to his feet.
I watched as Amo got dressed, put his gun holster on and stuffed his belongings into his bag while he talked to the pilot of the private jet rental. After I’d draped a bathrobe over my shoulders, I followed him outside onto the porch.
Of course, I’d known that Amo would have to leave soon—tomorrow—but our time together was so limited that being deprived of a night and several hours hit me hard. I tried to hide my emotions, not wanting Amo to feel guilty. Amo had responsibility in New York.