Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 135652 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135652 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
“You’re going to keep pushing me aren’t you?” He sighs, his hand still covering my now silent mouth. “I’m not going to tell you, so please, just drop it.”
“It’s clear to me,” I begin when he removes his hand from my mouth. “That I’m going to find our eventually. Maybe you should just trust me with this, tell me before somebody else does.”
His face pales, his eyes glitter with sorrow. “I can’t.”
My heart lurches and my hand immediately comes up and grips the back of his hair, “I can see that it’s hurting you. Trust me with it.”
He seems to think on it for a moment, then the shutters come down, hiding all emotion from me. “No.”
Seconds later he’s gone and the door has been slammed and locked again. I’m half tempted to go outside and wait for another messenger, but I don’t.
Instead I retreat to the nursery and play with my baby boy. He still hasn’t smiled yet and he’s now officially five weeks old. Time flies. I can’t believe how well he’s holding his head up. It’s madness.
“Peekaboo,” nothing. Nothing but a blink. I guess he doesn’t like peekaboo any more than his uncle likes it.
This entire situation is so frustrating, I hate being kept in the dark. I’m not used to secrets. I don’t have many friends and the friends I do have tell me pretty much everything. My mum didn’t have any friends or family as I grew up so there were no secrets there either. As for Caleb, he never kept anything from me. There wasn’t a point in our relationship where I felt like he was hiding something. Not that I can recall anyway.
Caleb, if you’re up there, please give me a clue. I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m scared. Fear is one of my quick to react emotions. It’s usually the first thing I feel when faced by a difficult situation. Although I’m not a coward by any means, I tend to face my fears head on. I just hate feeling fear.
I need it to stop. I need to get Nathan back to his normal self.
Why do I have a terrible feeling that it’ll never happen? Why do I have a terrible feeling that I’m about to lose another part of me?
A week goes by, Nathan left the first morning after the incident. I don’t know where he is or why he’s dared to leave me. All I know is that I’ve left the house with Dillan, expecting someone to come up to me with this bloody envelope that clearly hides something tremendous. Yet nobody has.
Which means Nathan has dealt with it.
This thought brings me a small amount of relief. At least my world isn’t about to turn upside down. I’ve come to rely on Nathan too much and this past week has been hard. Harder than it should have been.
I just wish he’d come home. Or at least answer the phone when I call.
At least I have Dillan for company. That’s a relief.
Of course I tried to search for this envelope too, I didn’t just hang around and wait for it to be delivered. Unfortunately Nathan’s office and bedroom were both locked and I couldn’t find a trace of it anywhere else. This also kept me occupied.
I’m woken by the sound of soft words being spoken through the baby monitor. I can’t quite make out what’s being said but I can tell it’s Nathan. Checking the clock I see that it’s just turned midnight. Relief fills me when I fully register the fact that I’m not dreaming and Nathan is in fact home. So I scramble from my bed and quietly creep to the nursery.
The door is open, Nathan is sat in the rocking chair with his back to me. I can see the top of Dillan’s head resting on the curve of Nathan’s arm as he rocks backwards and forwards.
“Hey, I didn’t hear him wake,” I say softly, noticing Nathan’s body tense as I move closer.
My gorgeous little boy is fast asleep, swaddled in a beige blanket. Nathan lifts him to his lips, kisses his chubby cheek before placing him in his cot and tucking him in. He stands with his back to me, his hands gripping the wooden railing.
“Are you okay?” I don’t know what to say, this seems the most plutonic thing to say considering the circumstances.
Nathan shakes his head, “Just saying goodbye.”
“You’re leaving again?” My voice comes out breathy and full of panic and disbelief. “If this is…”
“Not here,” cold, calm and emotionless brown eyes come to me. A draft hits my body as he passes, causing me to shiver slightly. Or maybe that’s his cold demeanour making me feel slightly chilled.
I follow him into his office and sit in the chair beside his desk. He stares down at a few sheets of paper in front of him, his tongue runs across his lower lip. Please don’t be leaving. Don’t leave us.