Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
The fish is delicately cooked for all that it's a huge hunk of white, flaky meat, and I take a little bite and then hold a bite out for him. "Eat with me?"
He leans forward and takes the chunk into his mouth, his tongue flicking against the food as he does. My mind immediately goes to filthy places and I bite my lip, determined not to stare at him like a creeper while he eats. He licks a spatter of broth off his tongue, then nods at me. "Eat more. I made it for you."
I take another bite, but then offer him one again. "I can share. I'm not that hungry." I pause, because I realize I just lied. "Actually, let me try again. I am hungry, but I don't want you to skip eating. Not when there's plenty of food in the camp for both of us." When he hesitates, I add, "And I like sharing with you."
That decides him. A'tam takes another bite, smiles, and moves a little closer to me.
And it makes me…happy. Happy that I confessed my true thoughts, because I'm trying, and happy that we're being so easy together, sharing a meal and just talking like a normal couple. Maybe we can do this after all.
32
BRIDGET
We polish off the food, sharing little bites back and forth. It's not the best-tasting meal I've had since I got here, but somehow it's my favorite. I can't stop smiling over at A'tam as he takes the empty bowl and rinses it out, then tidies up around the fire. I drain my water, hand him the cup. It's still early, with the suns barely set, but I don't feel like joining the others near the main fire or hanging out at the longhouse. I want to stay here with A'tam, and in our snuggly little hut, being cozy with one another.
I hug my legs to my chest as he sits next to me, silent. He pokes the fire with a stick, then glances over at me. "Tea?"
"No, thank you. I'm good."
Awkward silence falls again. I peek over at A'tam, but he doesn't say anything. I start to worry that maybe this isn't a quiet little evening at home. Maybe he's going to tell me something I don't want to hear, and I start to panic. "I wish you'd say something," I blurt out after a moment. "You're making me anxious."
He gives me a sheepish look. "I was trying to remember how you wished for me to say your name."
Oh. "Bridget." The one on my birth certificate is longer, with two middle names and a last name that's hyphenated, but none of that seems to matter much anymore. I'd be ecstatic with just “Bridget” here.
His lips purse. "Br—" He pauses. "It is a struggle for me. I want to honor you with the right inflection, but you do not like it."
"I don't mind an inflection," I say, turning to him. "Not if the rest of it is pronounced right."
"Then teach me." A'tam touches me under my chin. "Let me see your mouth as you say it."
I lift my head so I can demonstrate. His intense scrutiny on my mouth makes me flustered, and by the time I repeat my name twice, I'm getting distracted by things other than pronunciations. Things like his hand on my chin, and what we did last night. Things like my khui singing wildly in my breast, drowning out everything outside of the hut.
"Br'chit," he manages, stumbling over the “G” sound in the middle of my name. A'tam says it again, and there's a definite “chit” instead of “shit.”
I'll take it. I beam at him, beyond thrilled. Such a small thing to be called the right name, but it makes me so damn happy. "That's so much better. Thank you." My eyes prick with happy tears. "It means a lot to me."
"I did not realize it bothered you so much," A'tam says, his expression stricken. "I did not listen when you said it did."
"It just…makes me feel like everyone's laughing at me when you say it. I'm sensitive to that sort of thing." I shrug, hugging my chest. Now I'm feeling overly touchy, like I'm the problem and I'm making too big of a deal about things.
"It is my fault," A'tam says. "You told me and I did not listen."
"You're listening now," I say softly. "And I appreciate it."
He looks over at me, and my breath catches in my throat. There's such an intense hunger in his gaze, and a loneliness, too. Like he misses me even though I'm sitting right here next to him. Weirdly, I relate to that. I feel the same way.
"Last night made me happy," A'tam says in a low voice. He takes my hand in his, glancing over at me. When I don't pull away, he begins to stroke my palm, his fingers trailing over my hand and up my arm. "I did not mind that it was not about me, because I liked giving you pleasure. And I liked falling asleep with you in my arms, and waking up beside you."