Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
The praise sent a thrill through Driver from the roots of his hair right to his balls. With a pleased groan, he spread his legs wider and tipped his hips for a different angle. The new position had Tam brushing against his prostate on every stroke. Pleasure assaulted him and he squeezed his rectum.
“Fuck.” Tam slammed into him harder. “Holy...”
“Yeah.” Driver held tight to Tam’s hips.
“Driver.”
“I’m here.”
“I’m gonna come.”
“Give it to me.”
Tam licked Driver’s mouth then bit his bottom lip. “Not before you.” It was a plea and an order and the shock of it sent a wave of joy through Driver.
“I’m close.”
“This okay? Or—” Tam moved to reach a hand between them.
“No. Don’t move.” Driver twined their fingers together. “This is perfect.”
He’d never come just from anal penetration before but he was already on the edge of the best orgasm of his life. Maybe it was the wonder in Tam’s expression or the way he kept rubbing his face into Driver’s skin as if he were soaking up his scent. Hell, maybe it was that amazing cock. All Driver knew was this was a night he’d never forget. As the crest swelled, his toes curled and he couldn’t stop the sounds coming from his throat. It swept over him with a force so powerful he could no longer keep his eyes open. His entire body shook with release, and not a minute later, he heard Tam’s answering cries and felt the stronger heat of his orgasm.
Tam collapsed atop him. Immediately Driver entwined him in his arms and kissed the top of his head. He closed his eyes and relished the moment. Their hearts beat as one in a steady, rapid rhythm of contentment. They were sticky and sweaty and desperately needed a shower, but Driver wasn’t going to be the first one to move.
In the end, it was Tam who finally let go. He shifted just enough to slide out of Driver and remove the condom. He tossed it into the trash next to his bed, then fell to the mattress like his muscles couldn’t be trusted to hold him any longer. The puff of breath he expelled echoed in the dark quiet of the room, making Driver smile.
Driver found Tam’s hand next to his hip and held it. Some part of him was unwilling to let go. He needed the connection just a little longer. The nightmare still plagued him.
So did the future.
“I never knew.” Tam’s voice was reticent but the reverence was crystal clear.
“What?”
“How amazing it could feel. It always...it was never...”
Driver squeezed Tam’s hand. “This was pretty fucking spectacular.”
Tam rose to his elbow and looked at him. “Thank you.” The kiss he pressed to Driver’s cheek was the sweetest gift. Driver’s heart clenched.
“I should be the one thanking you.” He rolled to face Tam and brushed a stray strand from his face. “You blew me away.”
Tam hid his face in the crook of Driver’s neck. “I wish—” Tam abruptly cut himself off.
“What?” Driver tapped his hip.
With a sigh, Tam lay on his back. “Nothing.” He spoke to the ceiling, eyes wide open.
Either Driver was getting really good at reading him, or Tam was transparent as hell. He was pretty sure it was the former. Once again, self-reproach twisted inside him like a snake. He needed to do something to help Tam understand. It wasn’t fair to ask so much of him without giving an explanation.
He’d never talked about it before. Not even with Brandon or Harrison, though they both knew because they’d been there. Driver had never put it into words.
“I told you about my family.”
Silence was his only answer, but he could sense Tam listening.
“I didn’t tell you that it was my fault.” God, he needed fortification for this next part. “I’d gotten into a fight with my parents over something really stupid. We said horrible things and I snuck out after they went to bed to go to a party they’d forbidden me to attend. They shouldn’t even have been on the road, wouldn’t have been if it weren’t for me. My younger brother was sleeping in the backseat. They were T-boned at an intersection by a drunk driver. My dad died on impact, they said. But my mom and brother were taken to the emergency room.”
Tam shifted to look up at him.
Drive avoided his perceptive gaze by closing his eyes, but when he did all he could see were the faces of his family. “I...the whole time they were dying I was partying with my friends thinking I was the shit, pulling off some major teenage rebellion and getting away with it. They were in pain. They were alone.” His voice was gruff.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Wasn’t it?”
“You can’t blame yourself.”
“That’s not even the worst part.” It took all of Driver’s willpower to force the rest out. “I never cried. I didn’t even go to their funeral. It’s my fault they’re dead and I couldn’t even pay my respects.” He covered his face with both hands. “You were right to call me a coward. I’m worse.”