Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Faster and faster until he didn’t know if he was fleeing the memories chasing him or running toward the emptiness ahead of him. Either way, the result was the same. He was so lost in his own mind he didn’t realize until the last second that those weren’t eyes.
They were headlights.
He was headed straight for a car.
Just in time he swerved. The bike slipped on the rain-slicked road. In slow motion, Driver felt the center of gravity pitch to the side. He was about to crash. In a split second everything became crystal clear.
He was going to die.
He was going to die without ever really living. All his mistakes flashed before his eyes, every moment he chose not to face the things that hurt the most. All those times he kept his feelings locked inside because he was afraid of the strength of them.
So intense they sometimes knocked the air out of his lungs.
In a last-ditch effort, he let go of the Harley right before he met pavement. The bike landed on his leg with a horrible popping crunch and they skidded together with a heinous grind across the road. Sharp, shooting pain lanced through him and forced a scream from his lips. Then he was knocked onto his back and his head hit the ground hard enough that white lights shimmered in his vision.
He was pinned by his baby and sliding fast toward the ditch, grappling with both hands to try and stop the skidding. Both legs burned as if they were on fire. Rain pelted into his mouth and nose and eyes until he thought he might drown.
This was what dying felt like.
Fuck. What an idiot he’d been. All this time he’d been worried about losing those he loved and here he was getting himself killed. His grandparents’ sad faces floated in the back of his mind, along with Harrison and Brandon and Tam. Every time he left, they never knew if he’d ever be back.
Every time he forced them to feel the same things he couldn’t face.
Now he wouldn’t have the chance to apologize. He would never be able to tell them how much he cared.
Tam would never know.
God, that hurt the most. How could he die without telling Tam that he was loved?
Driver closed his eyes and shouted in the night with all his heart. Shouted until his lungs were sore. Shouted until he couldn’t anymore.
Then he finally came to a halt. For a second, he didn’t know what’d happened. Disoriented, he breathed and coughed. Because...rain. His body ached like he’d been run over by a truck. He groaned, but didn’t move. His bearings were still out of whack, his vision gray and spotty.
“Holy shit, are you okay?” A stranger stood above him, worry written on his face. Not dead then.
Driver groaned and flexed his fingers. Well, at least his arms weren’t broken.
“Don’t move. I’ve already called 911.”
Alive. He was still alive.
He could still make things right.
In the dark, bruised and probably bleeding, Driver smiled through the tears.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Switch was a completely different place on Sunday morning. Empty of patrons and with the lights on, it was cold and lifeless. A skeleton of the lively beast they’d experienced the night before.
It suited Tam’s current mood.
Inside, he felt cold and desolate, held up by the steel frame of will.
Whatever it took, he was going to nail this audition. Even with no more than two hours of sleep, a broken heart, and shrouded by embarrassment, he’d slip on his heels and slay.
It was what he did.
And the boys were counting on him.
Of course, that didn’t mean he had to smile while killing it. That was too much to ask.
After Driver left, Tam had stayed in a ball on the floor for nearly two hours while the sun rose above the buildings outside his windows and shined warmth into his apartment. It hadn’t taken long for the grief to morph back into anger. He’d tried.
He’d fucking begged. He’d done everything he could to make Driver realize what they were losing.
And still Driver hadn’t been willing to stick around.
Tam had wanted to stay there forever, frozen on the outside and boiling on the inside, but there was so much riding on this audition. To be regular headliners at Switch would bring awesome opportunities their way. This was where bigwigs partied when they came to town. Record producers, directors, actors and musicians all came to Switch because it was the hottest club with the coolest atmosphere.
Even if they only landed a part-time offer, it would boost their confidence and maybe get them seen by another club owner looking for the next great thing.
So, he’d dragged his ass to the shower and let the hot water wash away as much of the gloom as it could. Which, sadly, was not much. Even after he’d painted his face like Ansel had shown him, slipped into his black faux-leather corset leggings, lace-sleeved ultra-crop top that bared his entire chest, and black snakeskin platform heels, the emotional cloud didn’t lift.