Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Her eyes bug out. “Gage, this is a lot. A big responsibility. I’m sorry. It’s just too much, too soon. I can’t… not yet.”
My heart drops, but I don’t argue because I get it. It’s one thing to be with Rory while Sadie is in the other room. It’s a whole other thing for her to leave Rory with me alone. It’s going to take time for her to trust me, and I need to be patient.
“I don’t want to fuck with your plans,” I say instead. “I can come over in the morning and play with Rory while you get ready, and then take off once you’re ready to go.”
“You sure?” she asks slowly.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
She walks me to the door, and even though I probably shouldn’t, I lean in and kiss her cheek, my lips lingering for a fraction too long on purpose. “Thank you for today. I had a really good time.”
“Of course,” she squeaks out, telling me she’s not entirely unaffected by me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I spend the rest of the night writing music, the words flowing. I don’t know if it’s being sober or spending time with Sadie and Rory, but lately, I can’t stop putting my thoughts and feelings onto paper. When I send them to the guys, asking what they think, Camden says he wants to add it to the album, and the other guys agree.
Braxton: Does this mean you crashed and burned?
I roll my eyes at his question. The truth is, I was expecting it. I can’t write a song about a guy wanting a woman who wants someone else without it raising questions.
Declan: With Sadie? Wait, is this song about her? She has a boyfriend??
Me: Yes, she has a boyfriend, and no, I didn’t crash and burn.
I wouldn’t call asking her to watch a movie and getting turned down crashing and burning. That was me just trying to put feelers out to see if she would even be willing to spend some time with me alone—which she wasn’t.
Me: Sadie’s the mother of my daughter and nothing more. Leave it alone.
Thankfully, the guys listen, and the texts stop for the night, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about her and how much I wish she could be more.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
SADIE
“Oh, sweetie.” I push the sweat-covered hair strands off Rory’s face, hating that she’s not feeling well. There’s nothing worse for a parent than having to watch your child go through being sick and feeling helpless.
The day after Sarah watched her, while I went on my date with Mark, she called and said her kids were both running fevers and had all the symptoms of a cold. She apologized, not knowing they were coming down with something, and I told her she was being ridiculous. We can’t possibly know every time our child is going to be sick. She could pick up anything from anyone: at the park, at a restaurant… germs are part of life.
That night, Rory woke up from a coughing fit in the middle of the night. The next morning, the sniffles came, and along with them came the fever. Now she’s tugging on her ear in pain, and I’m sure it’s due to an ear infection.
“I’m going to call the doctor right now,” I tell her, pressing a kiss to her warm forehead. While I’m making the appointment, she falls into a coughing fit, getting so worked up that it ends with her throwing up.
“Mamama,” she cries, fresh tears filling her lids.
“It’s okay, sweet girl,” I tell her, my heart cracking in two. “We’re going to give you a bath and then take you to the doctor.”
The pediatrician confirms she has an ear infection, then mentions it sounds like there’s wheezing in her chest, and that she’s concerned about her being dehydrated, which leads to hours at the hospital while she’s given chest X-rays and hooked up to an IV with fluids.
Thankfully, her lungs are clear, but after her labwork comes back, the doctors diagnose her with RSV, and since she was born premature and RSV can be severe, they insist on keeping her overnight to monitor her. Since the safest place she can be is at the hospital, I don’t protest it, but have you ever had to force an eleven-month-old to sleep at a hospital?
By the time she’s discharged with a nebulizer and prescriptions for her ear infection and cough, I’m so beyond exhausted. When we get home, I prop the mattress of her crib up with a pillow underneath in the hopes of her getting some sleep, and I crash in my own bed.
My eyes are barely closed when there’s a knock on the door. I jump up, praying to the sleeping gods that it doesn’t wake Rory, and run to answer it. When I open the door, I find Gage looking a mixture of scared and pissed off.