Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 88742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 444(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 296(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 444(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 296(@300wpm)
“Really? What did they say?”
“They kept going on and on about how I was being taken advantage of, and Brick was some kind of predator who went after a young girl. It’s like the fact that I am twenty-five, a full adult, was lost on them.”
“They probably still see you as their little girl. It’s hard for parents to admit their kids have grown up.”
“I know, but you don’t understand, Mamie. The anger coming from them was more than I’ve ever experienced. They kicked me out of the house because I wouldn’t break up with Brick. They actually gave me an ultimatum. I never thought my parents would ever do something like that.”
“I’m so sorry, babe. They definitely overreacted.” That is an understatement. “What did you do after they kicked you out?”
“Brick took me to his apartment. For the past week, I’ve basically taken one long depression nap. He took care of everything, I guess. I’m not really sure since I was barely present.” Thinking back, Brick stepped up to the plate while I was spiraling.
“That's really sweet.”
“I don't know, Mamie. I don't know.” I collapse into my friend's side, all of my feelings hitting me like a ton of bricks again.
“What's wrong?”
“It's just so embarrassing. I was in his house, all depressed on his bed. I was in that bed for days. He must hate me now. Everything is exploding, and Brick is out there trying to avoid getting hit by all of my shit.” I can’t even begin to imagine how sudden this all was for him. I became another responsibility on his plate. I’m not sure if I can face him again. Not after all of that crap.
Having sex in the shower was amazing, but it was the afterward that made me feel weird. I got all up in my head and quickly decided that I needed to come see Mamie.
“I don't understand, Tammy. What’s the problem?”
“The problem is our relationship is different now. I feel like I've been forced into his life. Does Brick even want this? Does he want me?” These thoughts have been rattling in my head all week. It's part of the reason why I’ve had such a hard time getting out of bed. Sure, part of it was the whole argument with my parents. That truly messed me up more than I expected it to. But then doubts about my relationship with Brick started to crowd my mind.
Those doubts are what pushed me to the edge. Getting into the shower with him was partially a test to see if he still wanted me. Seemingly, he did, but afterward, it had felt so odd.
“Oh my God, Tammy!” Mamie yells loudly. I jump in my seat, surprised by her sudden change in volume.
“What?” I have no idea why my friend has started shouting. She’s always such a playful person. Even when she’s worried out of her mind, her voice doesn’t rise with such ferocity. This sudden turn has me very worried.
“Tammy?”
“Yes?”
“Look at me.”
“Yeah, okay,” I nod. I’m looking directly into Mamie’s eyes.
“Seriously, Tammy. Look at me.”
“Okay,” I repeat.
“Are you looking at me?”
“I'm looking at you! What is it?”
“I’ve been saying this to you, but I want you to really hear me this time. You need to get out of your own fucking head, okay? You always do this; you doubt yourself. How pretty you are, how smart you are, whether or not you'll ever succeed, if your parents should have invested so much money in you going to university. I could go on. But you don't need to do all of that because you are worthy of all of the good things in your life. Tammy, babe,” Mamie takes a deep breath right here. She's never been this visibly frustrated with me before, and I feel rather guilty.
“I'm sorry,” I apologize.
“No. Don't apologize. I don't want an apology. I just want you to understand that you are amazing and beautiful and funny and smart, and you deserved to be loved and to be in this amazing relationship with this amazing guy who fucking adores you. And if he hasn't told you already, I am sure Brick loves you. No one goes to that much trouble for someone they don’t care about. This man has been doing some of the most insane shit in an effort to impress you. Like goddamn!” Mamie pushes her hair from her face. A few tendrils had fallen due to the passion with which she was emphasizing her point.
And she’s right. She has told me time and time again how great she thinks I am. I always say thank you, but her words have never been absorbed into my psyche. I always took it as my best friend hyping me up, but thinking about what she has told me, Mamie does make a lot of sense. That’s kind of how our friendship works. We always have more clarity regarding each other’s lives versus our own.