Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 98418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
My mind battles against itself until finally a small voice says; ‘You’re already broken. What have you got to lose? That which is broken cannot break’. It’s true. There is nothing Theo could do to me that could be any worse than what I’ve already endured. If I do this I may get hurt, but if I don’t then I’ll just carry on in my closed off world. I don’t want to be the broken girl any more. I want to be the strong woman.
I slowly nod. "Okay." I whisper.
"Okay?"
I nod. “I’ll give you a chance, but no labels.” I warn. His face breaks into a beautiful smile, like the sun breaking through the clouds, making my stomach flutter.
He lifts me off the floor and spins me around.
I laugh breathlessly, unable to help myself from being caught up in his elation. He puts me down and rests his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and breathe in the wonderful scent of him that I’ve missed so much.
"You won't regret this." He whispers.
"I really hope not Theo." He kisses my forehead and I feel that content and safe feeling that I often feel with him, except it no longer scares me, but reassures me. I've been fighting him so much, that I’ve never taken a moment to just stop and realise how right this feels. "When do you want me to come over?"
He laughs. "I've never wanted you to leave."
After our emotional conversation Theo gives me a ride home to my flat. We're both silent on the way, having said everything there is to say for now.
When we pull up outside Theo gets out of the car.
"Here." He hands me the keys to the Range Rover. "Just pop over when you're ready."
He's giving me some space after our intense conversation and I’m grateful for it.
James pulls up behind the Range Rover in the Rolls.
"I'll see you later." He brushes his knuckles across my cheek before turning and sliding into the back of the car.
Molly and George are both sat on the sofa when I get in.
"How was dancing?" George chirps from the sofa.
"Good...um interesting." Molly and George both swing their heads in my direction. This going to sound insane. 'I'm moving in with the guy that I’ve just spent two weeks avoiding and wallowing over.'
"Um, Theo came to speak to me." George's eyebrows shoot up, whilst Molly's face breaks into an ear to ear grin. "We're going to give things a go."
Molly claps her hands together. "I knew it."
"So like actually together, not just sex." George looks shocked.
"Actually it'll be no sex, at least not for two weeks." They both stare at me like I’ve grown a second head.
"Um, why?" George asks.
I sigh. "I think he was desperate. He wants to prove to me that I’m more than just sex to him." I drop my gaze. "He told me last night that he's in love with me."
“Holy cow. My girl’s gonna marry a millionaire!” George squeals. I feel all the blood drain from my face.
"Oh ignore him, sweetie I’m happy for you." Molly stands and folds me into a hug.
George pipes up. "I'm not going to lie Lill's I was just about ready to hand you the noose myself if you didn't do something about that boy. God you were depressing last week." Molly slaps him lightly.
"Don't say that to her!" He only laughs.
"So, I’m living at his place for two weeks."
"What?!" They both screech.
I shrug. "How else am I supposed to make sure he's upholding his no sex policy?"
"It just seems extreme." Molly narrows her pale blue eyes at me.
"It's Theo. Everything’s extreme." I wave her off. "I'm heading over there this evening. I'll still see you guys." I reassure them both.
"Pft, if I were living with Mr Fine, there's no way I’d bother with you fuckers!" George laughs. Molly throws a cushion at him. "Do you need a lift over there Lill's?" George calls as I head toward my room.
"No, I’ve got Theo's car. Thanks though." I don't miss the look they both exchange.
When Theo came to the studio last week it had completely thrown me. He totally challenged my convictions, made me doubt my judgement of him. I realised that I had affected him in a way that I hadn't thought possible. I was surprised and relieved that he wants to be with me in a way that he never has with anyone else, it enabled me to justify my affections for him which I had tried so hard to deny even to myself. However, no matter how hard I try I’m still scared, I'm all too aware of how easily I could fall under the spell of Theodore Ellis.
I remember the conversation I had with Molly that morning. I realise now that she was right, and despite all my efforts, wanting to think the worst of him, I had developed a regard for him that I could no longer deny myself. I had only caused both Theo and myself misery with my denial. I knew though that if I did this I needed to be all in. If I’m going to try this then I need to give it my all and try to ignore my fears, otherwise it’s doomed before it’s even begun. This is the very reason I’ve never been in a relationship, I can’t go all in. I can’t put that much faith in one person, and yet now I’ve put that faith in Theodore Ellis of all people...and so I’ve ended up in my current situation - Day five living with Theo.