Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
“Oh fuck.” The fingers of my other hand fisted in the blanket as I literally fought not to spill my load right then.
It wasn’t the way it had been when we were kids. Clearly, Joey had experience. He was more confident, sucking me and stroking me with skill from years of practice. I fought to swallow down my jealousy that he’d touched someone else and had someone else in his mouth.
That someone else had likely been inside him.
He went down on me again, the wet, hot suction of his mouth driving me wild. I thrust up slightly and he gagged, then did it to himself, pushing down on my cock until he choked, his throat working around me.
When he pulled off, he gasped, “Gage,” and did it again. He kept going, kept sucking me fast and hard and deep until I felt wetness on my thighs. Hot tears hit my skin, the feeling matched in my own chest.
I grabbed him, drew him to me and kissed him, licked his tears. “Don’t cry. We’ll figure it out.” Because no matter what this moment gave us, we both knew it wouldn’t be easy. This didn’t magically fix anything—it didn’t fix us, together or separate.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I can’t believe I’m crying. I told myself I wasn’t this weak anymore.”
I rolled over, lay on top of him. How could he think that about himself? “You’re not weak. You never have been.” There was more than one kind of strength. Joey had the strength of being himself, of having a big heart even though it meant risking it getting broken. The strength of kindness and sweetness even when people hadn’t always been that way to him.
We kissed again. It was like we couldn’t keep our mouths off each other. Our teeth clanked together as we moved, crawling and kissing and…shit, maybe even chuckling as we situated ourselves to lie the right way on the bed.
This time, it was my turn to let my lips trail down his body, to take off his shorts, to breathe him in, to take him into my mouth.
I hummed with Joey deep in my throat, hot and hard on my tongue. I wanted to devour him. Wanted to suck him until he shot in my mouth so I could have the taste of Joey against my taste buds.
“Please,” he begged in that familiar way. His pleas during sex were always more urgent, an almost ache to his voice that he didn’t have any other time.
“You say it just like you used to,” I replied, then took him into my mouth again, used my hand to jerk him while I sucked and savored him.
His hand in my hair was familiar, the taste of his shaft, like there was some kind of Joey flavor that belong to him and him alone.
“I want you,” he said, then pulled my mouth to his again.
“What do you want, Jojo?” I asked, forehead against his. The only time we’d had sex, he’d bottomed. Maybe he always did, or maybe he was a top now? Vers? There were so many things about him I didn’t know.
“You. Can I have you, Gage?”
“Yes.”
“Have you?”
“No.” I wasn’t against it. It just wasn’t something I’d done. When I got out, anytime I looked for a guy, he was a bottom. I wasn’t willing—couldn’t—do anything else.
“Me neither.”
Our gazes held as possessiveness surged through me. He was still mine that way. No one else had had him.
Neither of us seemed able to find words, so we simply nodded at each other. I rolled off him and to my stomach, and he watched, his stare a touch against my skin. Deeper than that—I felt it in my bones.
Joey cleared his throat. “Condoms? Lube?”
“In the drawer.”
I could see his hands trembling as he opened it and took out the supplies. He slicked his fingers, straddled one of my thighs, and leaned over, kissed the back of my neck. His fingers found their way between my cheeks, circled my ring.
“Fuck…I can’t believe this is you, Jojo.” Maybe it was a stupid thing to say, but it was true. After all this time, I couldn’t believe I got to have him this way.
“I want to be better,” Joey said against my ear, his finger gently probing me.
They were the bravest words I’d ever heard, words I wouldn’t have said first but knew were true.
He kissed my shoulder, pressed his finger in farther. It was uncomfortable, like something was where it wasn’t supposed to be, but I knew from having someone on the other end of it, how great it could be.
“I’m so tired, Gage…inside. I don’t know how to keep going like this.” Another kiss. “I want to be better,” he repeated.
I turned my head to the side. “I know. Christ, Jojo. You deserve more.”
He captured my mouth with his, his tongue fucking me the way his fingers did. Eventually it got better, the knowledge that this was Joey helping. He pulled away only to get more lube before kissing me all over—cheeks, lips, temple, neck, shoulders, back—as he worked in two fingers, then three.