Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83394 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
“That’s perfect.” Angie kissed the top of Gage’s head, then winked at me before walking over to where Kevin was manning the grill.
I watched as Gage fed her, as he brushed a finger over her cheek. “Olivia Gage,” he murmured.
Reaching over, I touched her, leaned down and kissed her forehead, which brought me closer to Gage, made my hand or arm come in contact with him again.
We sat there, feeding her, savoring her, and if he was what I was, in that moment, he was thinking of all the things that could have been.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Gage
I didn’t ever want to leave Kevin and Angie’s house. I wanted this day to keep going forever, replaying over and over and over again, because it was perfect.
I fed Olivia, and then Joey showed me how to burp her. Eventually, she passed out, milk-drunk in my arms. I held her for as long as I could before placing her in the crib-thing they kept under the patio cover. I didn’t know what it was called.
She slept while we hung out and talked. Romeo was proud of his grill and showed me all the gadgets on it. He’d made chicken and corn on the cob, which we ate along with the potato salad Mouse had prepared.
I tried to call them Kevin and Angie, like Joey did, but the nicknames were a reflex for me. They didn’t seem to mind.
While we ate, the baby woke up. They put her in the bouncy thing, and the kid went crazy, her giggling stuffing some of my pain away, into yet another box. I was filled with them, I thought.
The four of us sat around the table, living in this moment where nothing bad had happened. Where I hadn’t killed someone and gone to prison and hurt Joey, Mouse, and Romeo.
“So you learned about cars in prison?” Romeo asked.
“Yeah, some. They have programs and stuff, but it was more when I got out. Billy, the mechanic I worked for, took me under his wing and taught me. I like it. I tried to find work in a garage when I got here, but no luck.”
“Okay, maybe the rest of you are going to keep ignoring the elephant in the room, but I’m not. Does anyone else think it’s a big coincidence that Gage and Joey both ended up working on cars?”
No, I didn’t think so at all. Nothing surprised me when it came to us, except maybe when Joey replied with, “Makes sense. We’ve always been connected in ways we couldn’t understand.”
I was surprised he’d admitted it, and I hated that I’d needed it, but I had, and it felt so damn good.
“Well, if Angel ever needs someone else, you can make a recommendation,” Mouse told Joey.
I didn’t think Joey would want me working with him, but I kept that to myself.
Time moved like it had a habit of doing—too fast in the good times, too slow in the bad ones. The afternoon gave way to evening, and before I knew it, we were saying our goodbyes.
Joey and I walked out together, silence between us, both lingering. In some ways, I just loved being around him again, loved seeing him. In others, it was hard. He’d held my heart for most of my life. I’d loved him more than…more than myself, that was for sure. I’d loved him for his compassion, for his big heart and his optimism, but when I looked into his eyes now, those things either weren’t there or they were hiding. It hurt to see him that way, to know my decisions had put him on that path.
“So…I was thinking we could maybe go work out together,” Joey said.
Well, shit. I hadn’t expected him to ask to see me. “Tonight?”
“Maybe tomorrow? I’m off Sundays and Mondays.”
“Saturday and Sunday for me,” I replied. It was Sunday today.
“You might not feel like it after work, I guess.”
“No, I will,” I rushed out, and he smiled. Jesus, that smile. I used to do anything to earn it.
“Okay.” He nodded, then said again, “Okay,” before walking toward his car.
“Joey?” I called just as he was about to open the door to the sedan.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He got into the car and drove away. I waited until he was out of sight before going to mine.
I didn’t see Darrel when I got home. I went to my little casita, feeling antsy, like there was too much energy pulsing through my veins. This was all too much—them taking me back into their lives, giving me this gift I never thought I would have again, that I didn’t think I was strong enough to take.
Everything I’d ever loved or cared about I lost, but I couldn’t do it, wasn’t strong enough to lock them out of my life. I’d deal with the hurt later. I always survived before, and I would next time too.