Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 94630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Jo,
You know I have to go. I’m haunted by a dead man in my dreams every night, but he’s not my greatest fear. My greatest fear is hurting you. Last night was too close. I know you trust me, but I don’t trust myself with you right now. Not after what happened. I won’t risk you. This isn’t up for debate or negotiation, because you’re better at both of those than I am. You’ve wanted me to talk to someone, to get help—well, you’re getting your wish. I’ve never wanted to talk about what happened, but if there’s a chance it will help me make some kind of peace, I’ll do it. And it may not feel like it right now, but I love you too much to stay.
I don’t know how long it will be before I come back, but I hope when I do, I’ll be better. I hope when I do, you’re still here. If I were selfless, I’d tell you not to wait for me. But I’m not selfless, and I’m telling you that if you move on, it will gut me. I know you’ve waited years. Can you give me a little more time? I want to love you in the light, without the shadow of a monster hovering over us. Let me do this.
Don’t doubt my love.
Cam
The paper fluttered to the floor, falling from Jo’s numb fingers. For a moment, she felt unmoored. Uncertain, but then her natural instincts kicked in. He wasn’t thinking clearly. He thought this was best, but he was wrong. She would track him down and convince him. Jo was already plotting her next steps. Bennett Enterprises had a private investigator on retainer. She’d call Walsh and check all the flights. If Cam had left the country, he would have used his passport. That was a red flag she could track right away. She had pulled on yoga pants and her Duke sweatshirt, ready to start the manhunt when the doorbell rang. Maybe it was the cleaning lady.
“Daddy?” Jo stepped back, pulling the door open wider and pushing her surprise aside. “Come on in.”
Her father stepped into the living room, dressed casually in one of his Harvard sweatshirts and jeans.
“I didn’t even know you were in town.” She pointed a thumb toward the kitchen. “Want some coffee?”
“I just got in from Boston an hour ago.” Her father settled onto the leather couch, leaning his elbows on his knees and glancing up at her. “I flew back early to check on you.”
“On me? Why would you…?”
That dirty, rotten, low-down lover of hers.
“Cam called you, didn’t he?” Jo perched on the arm of the nearby love seat. “He told you he’s gone.”
“He told me everything, Jo.” Concern weighted her father’s brows. “He asked me to make sure you don’t try to find him.”
“Of course I’ll find him.” Jo bounced her foot, so ready to be done with this and under way. “Can we talk about this later, Daddy? I need to get on this.”
“You will not.” Jo had heard that kind of iron in her father’s voice before, but rarely directed at her.
Jo stood up and placed her hands on her hips, a stance the men in her family knew meant not to mess with her.
“You said yourself I’m a grown woman.”
“Yes, you are, so act like it.”
The words stung like a slap.
“Excuse me?”
“Jo, this is serious. Cam held a loaded gun to your head last night.”
“It’s not how it sounds. I can explain.”
“Cam already explained. I know what happened, and I support his decision to get help and to keep you safe.”
“This doesn’t feel like support to me. It feels like you giving up on him because of a little bump in the road.”
“A bump in the— Jo, a loaded gun held to your head is a detour, not a bump.”
“So you’re really giving up on him.” Jo slipped some iron of her own into the next words. “What would your sister do if she were alive? Would Aunt Kris just abandon Cam when he’s at his lowest?”
“That’s not fair. It’s not the same.”
“The answer is no, she wouldn’t. She never gave up on him, and neither will I.”
“Allowing him some space is not giving up. He’s not some toy you can throw a tantrum about not having when you want him.”
“I can’t believe you just said that to me.”
“Believe it. He doesn’t need to be ‘had’ right now. He needs to wrestle with some issues that have been chasing him for years.” His voice and face softened in synch. “Let him, honey.”
It started at her mouth with just a wobble, a tremble of her lips. Then her hands joined in, fingers shaking until she had to cram the emotion into her fists. She was imploding, but everything wanted out. Curses, screams, sobs. Every expression of this hurt was trapped inside her body and wanted out, but she could only allow herself tears.