Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
I wiped and kissed tears off his face, ran my fingers through his hair, brushed the back of my hand against his cheek, just needing to touch him. I wanted him to know, even in his sleep, that I was there, that I’d always be there.
It was always Jasper’s first reaction to run, to go. I thought maybe he always had an itch beneath his skin, but when something bad happened or he was feeling stuff, that’s often when he went exploring or hiking or something like that. We had that in common, so most of the time, we ended up together. Tonight, though, he’d wanted to leave his house. I was thankful that he’d listened, that he’d stayed.
And I was so fucking angry at Bob and Sherry that I didn’t know if I could ever forgive them.
He slept for a good few hours, and it was after midnight when he stirred, looking over at me, eyes fluttering as he woke up, clearly still filled with pain. “I gotta pee,” he said, trying not to show his sadness.
“Okay. Need help?” I waggled my brows.
“I know it’s big, but I can handle him.”
I rolled my eyes and watched as he went to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The sound of it echoed through my head, felt like it was a wall between us, and all I could do was hope things weren’t going to change. That I wasn’t going to lose him, which felt selfish as shit, considering what he went through today.
He was in there for a few minutes. I breathed out a sigh of relief when he came back out in his underwear, his face looking as if he’d washed up some.
Jasper immediately climbed right back into bed with me, limbs around me like if he held me tight enough, if I held him tight enough, the rest of the world would go away.
“Sorry. It’s embarrassin’ that I lost it like that.”
“You don’t gotta apologize. There’s nothin’ wrong with cryin’. Maybe you should call Sammy. It would be nice to have some support, someone to talk to.”
“I got you to talk to.”
“It’s different.”
He shook his head. “I can’t, Sutt. Sammy Joe lived his whole life for his mama, he’s never had anything for himself, and now he has. The last thing I wanna do is be a burden on him, and it will be. Knowin’ him, he’ll bring his ass back here just to be there for me, and that ain’t right. Especially considerin’ I’m not sure I deserve it. I wasn’t there for him. I wasn’t all that nice to him. I called him a queer, and I get it now, the difference in puttin’ that a in front of it. I think…I think part of me knew how I felt about you when he came out, and I was jealous that he was brave enough to admit what I couldn’t even acknowledge in my own head…and because I knew that Aunt Carrie would be okay with it in ways Mama and Dad ain’t.”
I hated this world, hated that it had to be this way. “I’m so sorry, baby.” I kissed his temple, and somehow, felt him smile.
“I like that…bein’ your baby.” His fingers danced up and down my spine. “Need to feel close to you, Sutt. Need to feel connected…like I’m not all emptied out. Can you do it? Put your fingers inside me?”
Little pieces of my heart started to put themselves back together again. “Yeah, of course. In no situation will I ever say no to that.” I loved that he liked it so much, that feeling me inside him gave him something.
“I don’t know why I need it so much. Couldn’t ever say it to anyone but you.”
“As long as I’m breathing, you won’t ever need it from anyone but me.” I rolled over and got the lube from the nightstand. Jasper hooked his fingers in his boxer briefs, but I shook my head. “Don’t move. I’m gonna take care of you.”
He nodded and waited while I stripped out of my clothes. My dick was already half hard, pointing toward him. After climbing back onto the bed, I slid his underwear down his muscular, hairy thighs. The second his cock sprang free, I licked my lips, wanting to taste him. I loved sucking his dick, loved to feel the heat of his steely length on my tongue, the taste of his salty skin, and even his release, now that I’d begun swallowing it down.
“Fuck, I love your body.” I placed my hand on his chest, Jasper arching upward as I let it slide down his torso.
“I love yours too,” he replied.
Using the lube, I slicked up my fingers. I went down on my side, Jasper rolling to his, and then he lifted his top leg and hooked it over my hip.