Total pages in book: 142
Estimated words: 134725 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 674(@200wpm)___ 539(@250wpm)___ 449(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 134725 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 674(@200wpm)___ 539(@250wpm)___ 449(@300wpm)
Zane’s expression changed. He went to speak, his expression gentling a little, maybe, but I kept ranting.
“And all this time I’ve been scared out of my mind that this clock is ticking until it delivers me to death. I go through all sorts of drama and crap and get sent out into outer space and am told I have to have sex in 72 hours or I’m dead, but I meet you and you’re just… perfect. You’re gorgeous. And sweet. And strong. And yes, I’ve been trying to survive, but how I feel about you? It’s not like you think…”
“Tanya…”
“No. Let me talk! And you did those things to my body the other night and I’ve been in a crazy beautiful fantasy mixed with a nightmare and…”
He grabbed me and kissed me.
I was pulling away. Although I had very little experience with losing my temper, apparently, I knew I wasn’t done ranting.
I managed to detach his gorgeous lips from mine. “Zane! I am not a manipulator! I’ve been so scared.” I pushed at his chest to get away, but he didn’t loosen his grip so I said, directly into his face, looking straight into his eyes, our mouths just a few inches apart, “That little boy was about to see me get sick and die in front of him the same way his mother died, and that scared the shit out of me.” He closed his eyes tight, jaw muscles bulging, but still didn’t let me go.
“And damn it; yes, it’s selfish, but it’d also mean I wouldn’t get to have the adventure I thought I was finally getting to have. My life was so isolated. Work. Home. Books. Fear. So much fear. And that was all, especially after breaking up with Giorgio which was a whole other can of worms that had me living in my head and walking on eggshells for … years.”
He opened his eyes. I kept going.
“But I was here, and it was perfect, and I had the possibility of you. You! And at first you were all over me and then you’d pull back and then as we got closer to the deadline I first thought maybe you didn’t actually want me, maybe you felt guilty because your wife died and you were feeling guilty about moving on. And then I realized you had no idea about the 72 hours. So I figured, hey, either he will find me irresistible or he’ll find out the truth and give me pity sex so that I don’t die. And I knew you wouldn’t let me die. You’re just too good of a man to let that happen. At first, I was afraid of dying but after spending time with you I just knew you would not allow that to happen. So, if you had sex with me to save me it’d be a relief because I wouldn’t die, but I’d be sad because it’d also mean you didn’t choose me. I’d be alive, but I’d be your wife out of obligation. And I didn’t want that.” I took a big breath. He was staring at me, listening, flexing his jaw over and over as his eyes roved my face.
“But Zane… if you had sex with me because you couldn’t resist me, it’d be different, it’d be a way to start something real, something …” I swallowed and fought to find the right words.
I didn’t need them. His mouth was on mine again and I was walked backwards a few paces until I was pinned against the wall. He lifted me up by the waist and laid a hot and heavy kiss on me.
And I kissed him back, wrapping my legs around his middle. I was still revved up with emotion and with all that I’d been holding onto the past sixty-six hours, but I was so freaking relieved his mouth was on me. So… I kissed him back. I kissed him with relief. With tears streaming down my face. With everything I had.
No space flu would get me. I didn’t have to die. I didn’t have to plead for pity sex in order to survive. I’d get to stay here, live here. Experience this adventure.
“There’s really no need for a vaccination?” I whispered against his lips.
“No.”
“You’re absolutely sure? Like… certain?”
“Absolutely sure. They lied, shortcake. Clearly wanted you all willing to be bred as soon as you got here so our planet wouldn’t go to war with them. This can’t surprise you.”
“Oh, thank God.” My head fell forward against his shoulder and I sobbed. I sobbed hard.
He wrapped his arms around my bottom and carried me to the sofa at the edge of his bed. He sat down and kept me in his lap.
And I was bawling hard against his chest, letting him hold me, letting it wash over me that I didn’t have to push so hard anymore, that I didn’t need to put a deadline on our relationship. I only hoped as he held me close and stroked my hair that I hadn’t irrevocably broken the trust between us. He was so good at holding me while I cried. It was like he was built for it, built to comfort a weeping woman in those big strong arms.