Total pages in book: 213
Estimated words: 201920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1010(@200wpm)___ 808(@250wpm)___ 673(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 201920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1010(@200wpm)___ 808(@250wpm)___ 673(@300wpm)
He’s free. Free to go with no charges pressed. There isn’t enough evidence to support a trial for what they charged him with.
I want to take him away before anyone can say anything differently.
All I have in me is a shaky half step forward, but I can’t move any farther. He may be free from all of this but I’m not, and I don’t deserve to be. The sheer terror of what this confession will do to me is enough to keep me cemented in place.
It’s enough that he sees me. The small motion makes him look at me and when he does, everything changes.
“Allie.” The way he says my name frees me from the spot I’ve been chained to. I run to him as quickly as my body will allow. Crashing my chest against his and holding him with a fierceness I’ve never felt before. As if letting go of him would mean losing him. I can’t lose him. Please God, let him love me still.
“Are you okay?” we both say at nearly the same time. His hands travel from my cheeks to my arms, then lower. As if checking every part of me and making sure I’m all right. Apart from a few bruises, there’s nothing on the outside that’s hurt.
I can barely nod as I look him over. He spent days in jail and was charged with murder. All because of me.
“Everything’s okay. It’s over. It’s okay.” He repeats himself as he kisses my hair. As if it really is but I know all too well that it’s not. With a heavy inhale I get a whiff of his scent and I hold onto him tighter, refusing to let go. I have to tell him. He deserves to know it’s my fault. He wanted the truth and I owe him that much.
“Dean.” When I say his name, my voice cracks and his eyes spark with slight fear. The same fear that runs through my own blood.
“Let’s get out of here,” is his only response as his dark eyes pierce into mine. “Let’s just go.”
“Where are you going?” I ask him as my heart pounds and I barely get out the words. The dreaded sickness stirs in my belly. I have to tell him. That’s why I refuse to let his hand go. It may be the last time I ever hold him.
The sound of a passing car in the street behind us catches my attention, but I feel Dean’s gaze and it never leaves me.
“I don’t care. Anywhere,” he says while still staring deep into my eyes.
“It sounds a lot like running away to me,” I tell him honestly with a shaky breath. The bitter wind of the cold night whips by us and it only makes each of us move closer to the other. I’m on the edge of falling again but this time, I don’t want to stop myself. I almost don’t want to tell him. I want to run away with him. So long as I’m with him.
“Maybe sometimes,” he says then pauses and takes my hand in his, taking a step closer to me. I have to lift my head to look him in the eyes. “Maybe sometimes it’s okay to run away.”
“I thought we were only supposed to run toward something?” I remind him.
“I don’t give a fuck what you call it, Allie. As long as I’m running with you, that’s all that matters to me.”
My eyes close and I lean into Dean’s hard chest. His strong arms wrap around me and I cling to him. “Can we forget the past?” I ask him softly, my question lingering in the heat between us. “I don’t want to remember any of it anymore.”
I can feel the urge to lie. To keep it all a secret. My heart begs me not to speak the truth. It wants Dean too much.
“Whatever you want to forget, I’ll help you,” he whispers and his voice sounds pained. He still loves me. The pitter-patter in my chest hurts.
My fingers skim along his shirt and my conscience begs me to confess to him, at war with everything else. The moment my lips part, his finger slips down against my lips.
I shake my head away from his fingers, refusing his protest to not say it. It’s now or never, and I can’t let it be never.
“Dean, I have something I have to tell you,” I say and swallow thickly, hating myself in this moment. I hate what I’ve become. How revenge and justice consumed me. My obsession changed who I was. For years.
I’m only vaguely aware of where we are and how someone could overhear, but I’m so afraid that if I don’t tell him right now, I never will.
“Is it about what happened?” Dean asks me, his voice hard and I can only nod. The words pile up in the back of my throat, suffocating me. “Then you don’t have to say it.”