Total pages in book: 213
Estimated words: 201920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1010(@200wpm)___ 808(@250wpm)___ 673(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 201920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1010(@200wpm)___ 808(@250wpm)___ 673(@300wpm)
His steely blue eyes catch me off guard; they pierce into me and hold me hostage as he asks, “And why is that?”
“You make me feel like I’m more to you than I am.” The words come unbidden, his simple question enough to draw the raw truth from me. I lick my lips as I blink away the haze of the spell he casts over me. Bringing my knees into my chest, I scoot away from him and wish I could take those words back.
“You’re wrong again,” he tells me, and I feel foolish.
“I know I’m an easy lay,” I tell him dully, feeling my heart squeeze in my chest. I would let him have me whenever he wanted.
“I didn't say you were. I don't do this; I don’t sleep around. I don't have girls stay over, so we're even there. So, whatever you’re thinking right now, stop it.”
Guilt rises inside of me and makes me feel sick to my stomach. This is not the time, nor the place. I can feel his gaze on me, I know he’s waiting for me to simply agree and so I swallow the spiked knot and nod, but I can’t look him in the eyes.
“You know you mean more to me than that. You’re more than that.” His conviction is unmistakable, but I don’t know that. I only know what he’s told me, which is nothing.
He never tells me anything and I let him into my life because that’s where I want him. It’s as simple as that.
Taking a steadying breath, I turn to him.
“Tell me you know that,” he commands me, and my eyes are drawn to his throat as he swallows. “Tell me you know you’re more than just a lay for me.”
“I do,” I tell him. Things have always been more between us, but why? I don’t know. And tomorrow holds no promises for me.
“I want to have someone, Bastian,” I confess to him. “Even if I may lose them one day. I don’t want to be alone anymore.” I don’t know where the words come from. Maybe it’s the fatigue that still lingers. The sadness from hearing of Carter’s mom passing. Or maybe it’s because I feel a crack in Sebastian’s armor, he’s giving me a way in to tell him exactly how I feel.
It’s too quiet as I stare straight ahead at nothing in particular, rather than at Sebastian.
He cups the side of my face and forces me to look at him. His touch is hot and his gaze even hotter as he tells me, “Then let me be that someone.”
My heart beats in slow motion.
“What am I to you?” I whisper. Because deep in my soul, I already know Sebastian is that person for me. What I don’t know is whether or not I’m that person for him.
“You were just the sad girl who looked at me like you couldn’t wait to run from me. So, I refused to chase you, Chloe. Now that I have you, I’m begging you, don’t run from me.”
I love you is on the tip of my tongue, but the strength to let the words be heard is nowhere to be found.
“People know you’re with me now, anyway,” he tells me when I don’t say anything. “There’s nowhere to run.”
“I want to run away from here. I don’t know that I can stay here, Bastian.” I don’t know why that’s what comes out of me, but it’s all I can say.
His answer is simple and unexpected. “When you figure out where, tell me.”
His hand falls from my cheek and he gets off the bed, making my body sway where it is. My gaze drifts to him, watching him stand at the dresser and open a drawer, and then to the faint light of early morning filtering in through the window.
“Where are you going?” I ask him and then add, “To Carter’s?” He only nods solemnly. Of course, he’d want to be with him. I’m sure Carter needs him there too.
“Do you want me to go with you?” I offer. I’d do anything for him.
“You keep looking for a way to run from me, Chloe Rose,” he says and although he isn’t facing me as he slips on a white cotton t-shirt, I can hear the smile that must be gracing his lips, “but I need you this time. You’re not allowed to leave now.”
“So, that’s a yes?” I push him for more, feeling a warmth spread through my body and cloaking the sadness still buried within.
“It’s a, ‘you should have known you’re coming with me.’”
SEBASTIAN
I knew it was coming. We all did. But we’re dying every day, coming closer to the end of our time here on earth, and it’s never easy to accept.
It’s been four days since she passed. And four days of Carter not calling. I keep texting him, but he just gives me one-word answers. His dad was right, nothing can prepare you; I didn’t think Carter would push me away though, not when he needs someone there for him. Even if it’s just to sit around and do nothing, I don’t care what, I just want to be there for him.