Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 63195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
“You can come whenever you need to,” she says and then pulls a shirt over her head as she lets the robe fall into a puddle around her feet. The sight would make my dick hard as steel if it weren’t for the words that hit me at full force. “To get whatever you need. I know you can’t take everything all at once.”
“You really want me to go?” I question even though I know I need to leave regardless of what she tells me. I need time to sort out my shit and get my life to be one that belongs beside hers.
I wish she’d lie to me. I can see it in her eyes, her posture; I can hear it in her voice that she needs me to go. Tell me a pretty lie, Kat. Make me believe you still want me.
“I think it’s for the best,” she answers as her eyes flicker from me to the door and she pushes her hair out of her face. The dark circles under her eyes are evidence of how worn out she is. She’s tired of my bullshit.
“I want to be happy and I feel like we’re so used to being something else that it’s not going to work.”
The argument stirs in my chest, but she’s right in a way and I know I can prove to her that we’re going to be fine. I just need time. “I’ll go now, but I’m coming back when I fix things.”
“That’s what you do, isn’t it? You fix things?” A sarcastic, sad laugh accompanies her comment.
Fixer. That’s what they call this job, but really I’m supposed to prevent anything from breaking. There’s another small huff of a laugh that leaves her, but it’s not the joyous sound I’ve grown to love so much. It’s because of me. I’m the one who broke our marriage.
“I know we grew apart, but we’re still together. Even if you want to pretend like we’re not for a little while,” I tell her. Climbing off the bed, I take a step to go to her, but she shakes her head slightly, crossing her arms and taking a step back.
“It was only one last time, Evan.”
My mouth falls open just slightly for me to tell her last night wasn’t the last time. I won’t let it be. But the words don’t come out. There’s no conviction in that thought.
My eyes close as the phone in my hand buzzes again and I don’t miss how Kat looks at it, a question in her eyes.
“It’s James.” I answer her unspoken question
She chews the inside of her cheek and doesn’t acknowledge me in the least.
“I quit and I’ve just got to sign some paperwork.” The lie slips out so easily. I’m almost ashamed at how easy it’s become to hide the truth from her and disguise it as something normal and relatable.
I don’t know if she can tell I’m lying, or if she just doesn’t care anymore. She leaves me alone with nothing but a small nod in the bedroom we built together.
My blood turns cold and I stare at the open door. The pictures from the hall taunt me. I still hear the laughter. I remember the softness of her skin when they were taken.
The phone goes off again and it pisses me off.
I grit my teeth as I read the messages.
Get here in the next hour.
Out of spite, there’s no fucking way I’ll be at his office by then. I make sure to hit the message so he knows I read it. He can wait.
Kat
It’s supposed to hurt this much. I remind myself of that over and over again.
That’s what a breakup is. It’s pain. It’s removing someone you once loved from your life. Erasing them as if they don’t exist. As if they’ve died. And that’s the most painful thing one can experience.
That’s why it hurts so much. Because I’m supposed to be in agony.
“You look tired,” I hear Jules say before she rests her hand on my shoulder, bringing me back into the moment. Standing in my small kitchen, with its clutter and a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, she’s so out of place here. “Are you all right?” she asks me softly.
Before I can answer, the sounds of Maddie and Sue laughing over something drift into the room. The wine has been flowing, and half of the only remaining box of pizza is left on the counter. It’s what I said I came in here for, another slice, but really I’d just remembered my time with Evan last night and then this morning and I wanted to be alone for a minute.
“You can tell me anything, Kat,” Jules says in a voice drenched with empathy. I’ve always loved the person she is. But never more than now.