Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 63195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
“And because I want to quit too.”
“When’s your last day?” There’s a small bit of hope in her voice, and I watch it shatter as I hesitate to answer.
“I don’t know. He … umm. James.” I run my hand down the back of my head and I hate how Kat sees through it all. Her head shakes with disappointment. “It’s not finalized.”
I nearly forget everything I planned on telling her, but somehow I hold on to it and continue, “I regret a lot of the things I’ve done this year and maybe for a while now—”
“For a while?” Kat repeats and her eyes reflect the pain that’s in her voice.
“I didn’t cheat on you, Kat. It’s not what you think,” I tell her and feel like a liar. “I told you, you’re the only one for me.”
Before I can say anything else, she shakes her head and that false smile mars her face. “I don’t know what you did. But I don’t want to know anymore,” she says quietly, staring at the cup in her hands before looking back up at me. “We’re different people and I think it was only a matter of time before something like this …” her voice cracks, but she doesn’t cry. She simply looks away.
My heartbeat slows. So slow that it’s painful.
“Where are you sleeping tonight?” Kat asks me and I have to swallow the spiked lump deep down in my throat before I can answer.
“You still don’t want me to come home?”
“It would be easier if you didn’t.”
“Easier for what?”
“Easier for the breakup, Evan.” Her lips part and then she adds, “It’s not about love anymore or about what we had. It’s about trust and what we’ve become. I need a fresh start and a life I’m proud of. And I don’t think it includes you in it.”
“It does,” I answer her instantly. “And I want the same.”
She stares back at me with an expression that shows how vulnerable she is. How much she wants to believe what I’m telling her.
I take her hand in mine and tell her, “I’ll do whatever you want, so long as when it’s all said and done I get to keep you.”
I stare in her eyes knowing I’ve never said anything more truthful, but something deep down inside tells me that’s not how this story will end.
“It’s too little, too late, Evan. I’m sorry.”
Kat
The bed groans and dips as I turn back onto my right shoulder, pushing the pillow between my knees and trying to force myself to sleep. My mind won’t stop playing back every minute of the coffee shop. Every little moment. Even sleeping pills aren’t working.
I’ve been alone all my life. Until Evan. When he first started sleeping over, it was hard to fall asleep. Unless he fucked me to the point of exhaustion, which was often.
You’d think it’d be easy going back to being alone. I was a pro at it for years and worse yet, I was proud of it. The train goes by and the sound cuts through the white noise of the city. The windows are closed, but I still hear it. I can even feel the rumble and vibrations as I try to lie still on the bed. And that’s when I get a hint of Evan’s scent. When I’m alone, missing him, I sleep on his side of the bed. It’s easiest the first night he’s gone. It smells just like him. Each day it gets a little harder and working late nights gets more appealing. But even the masculine scent that drifts toward me as I inch my head closer to his pillow isn’t enough to comfort me. Why would it? I’m losing him and everything we had.
I toss the heavy comforter off my body and sit up, wiping the sleep from my eyes and dangling my feet over the side of the bed. It’s nearly 1:00 a.m. and pitch black in the room. I should be sleeping, considering the fatigue plaguing my body and all too conscious it should come easy.
My fingers run through my long hair, separating it and braiding it loosely before I take a sip of water from the glass on the nightstand. If I get up and start working, I know I won’t sleep at all tonight. The very thought makes my heart thump harder. Work is killing me, lack of sleep is destroying me. But both are because I’m completely and utterly alone.
Just breathe. I let my head fall back and slowly creep back under the covers. All I need to do is breathe.
But that hope is short lived as I hear Evan climb the stairs. I had one condition to him coming home, and that was leaving me the bedroom. Even if it hurts me, I’d rather feel pain in his absence than a fraction of that pain in his presence.