Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 63195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
“Well, what do you think?” Maddie asks me and then she puts down her own cup. The coffee shop on Madison Avenue is fairly empty, probably due to the rain and chill of the late fall in the air.
As the shop door opens with a small chime and the busy sounds of the street flood into the small space for a moment, I think of how to answer her.
I don’t know what to say.
I think he cheated on me.
I think he’s sorry and he regrets it.
I think he loves me. No, I know he loves me.
And I feel like a fool for still loving him and wanting him.
That’s what’s in my head as I look around the small coffee shop, taking in every detail of the bright white chair rail and cream walls. The framed macro photographs of coffee pots and coffee beans keep my attention a little longer. I’ve never really noticed them before. This place is so familiar, yet I couldn’t have described any of these details if someone had asked me. I’ve been coming here for years and yet I’d never cared enough to look at what was right here in front of me.
“Why would he lie to you?” Maddie asks, pulling my attention back to her. She huffs, sitting back and causing the chair to grind against the floor as she does. “I just can’t imagine Evan doing this.” My shoulders rise with a deep intake of breath as I pick at a small square napkin on the table.
I roll the tiny piece I’ve ripped off between my forefinger and thumb, watching as it crumples into a small ball.
“I don’t know why,” I answer softly. I can feel all the overwhelming sadness and betrayal rise up and make my throat tighten as I try to come up with a response. “Maybe I’m stupid, but I can’t remember him ever lying to me before.” I swallow thickly and flick the tiny ball onto the table. “Not like this.” Defeat drips from my words.
“Sorry,” I tell them and wipe under my tired eyes, hating that I could possibly feel the telltale prick of tears behind them given how much I’ve already cried. “I tried not to let it …” I can’t finish. I watch as the rain batters the large glass window in the front of the shop and I slip my internal armor back on.
“Don’t you dare be sorry,” Sue says with a strength that pulls my attention back to her. Her jet-black hair cut into a blunt bob sways as she leans forward, moving closer to me while she speaks with an undeniable authority. “If you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream, do it. Whatever you need to do, just let it out.”
Maddie nods her head in my periphery, but I can’t do the same. Looking at the two of them, the stark contrast between Maddie and Suzette is more than obvious. Maddie’s a young brunette with large doe eyes, equally in love with love itself and the big city. Sue’s a recent divorcée with a bitter sense of humor she’s earned. Even their fashion choices are at odds. Maddie’s wearing a maxi dress and has a teal raincoat and clear umbrella hanging off the back of her chair, while Sue’s in a black and white tweed dress with a matching jacket, plus a broad-brimmed, black Breton hat she wears to keep people away.
Somewhere in the middle is where I fall.
What if I want to deal with it by falling into his arms and letting him lie to me? I bite my tongue, letting the silence be eaten up by the ticking of the clock. I know it’s not okay, yet that’s all I want. I want him to fight for me. I want him to love me. I want to forgive him, even if he won’t admit what he’s done.
And that makes me a coward and a pathetic excuse for a modern-day woman, doesn’t it?
The snide thought makes me turn my attention back to the dreary state of affairs outside. The clouds have set in and the sky quickly turns dark.
“This is crap weather for a first meeting,” I say out loud, not really meaning to.
“Way to change the topic,” Sue half jokes as she picks up her coffee cup and takes a sip, the smirk ever present on her lips. Her light blue eyes stare back at me from over the rim and it almost makes me laugh. Almost.
“So you’re meeting your client here?” Maddie asks, gracefully accepting my invitation to talk about anything else. I’ve never loved her more than in this very moment.
I nod, still not trusting myself to speak and take another gulp of my coffee. I forgot it was pumpkin spice and I nearly spit it out, startled by the flavor, but then I swallow it down. It’s not so bad.