Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 63195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
I want that. More than anything, I want this pain that I feel to stop. I would give anything to make it go away. Jacob could do that, but it would be short-lived. I blink away the haze of lust, the cloud of want and desire leaving me slowly, very slowly. I clear my throat and look him in the eyes as I tell him, “I can’t.”
“’Cause we’re going to work together?” he asks, although the way he tilts his head and strains his words makes it more than obvious that he knows why I can’t. My lips form a thin straight line as I shake my head no.
“You love him?”
“I do, but that’s not why. I’m just—I’m not okay and I need to figure things out …” I can’t finish the thought, but thankfully I don’t have to.
“I understand,” Jacob says and runs his hand through his thick hair. My eyes are caught in his as I nod in thanks.
“Let’s pretend this didn’t happen then?”
“I’d rather you remember,” he says with a grin that makes me crave him more. “I’ll be here when you’re ready,” he says and then turns to leave. To walk away from me and leave me alone in my misery, just as I asked.
For a second I want to reach out and stop him from leaving; I don’t want to go back to what’s waiting for me. I don’t want to face what I have to do.
But my fingers grip the edge of the foyer doorway as Jacob turns away and heads to the front door.
“I’ll talk to you later then?”
I should say no. I should cut off whatever this is. It’s dangerous and I can feel myself heading toward an edge where I won’t be able to balance. I can see myself falling. And that’s why I give him a small smile and nod my head. “Later,” I say, the word slipping from my lips like a sin.
Evan
The radio in the car is silenced as I turn off the ignition. It’s not often I get a parking spot so close to the townhouse. It was a sacrifice we made when we bought the place a few years ago.
My head falls back against the leather headrest and I stare up at the building, at the top two floors on the right side, knowing that Kat’s in there. So close, but so damn far away just the same.
My phone pings just as I open the door to get out and drag my sorry ass up to tell her everything. To lay it all out there, beg for her forgiveness, her understanding. But most importantly for her to stay with me. I’ll give her space and time. I’ll give her everything she asks. All I need is a deadline or something to work toward. I need her.
If she can still love me, after all I put her through and everything ahead of us, then we can get through anything.
I expect it to be Kat who messaged, but it’s not her that texted me. It’s Samantha.
I heard you quit.
News travels fast, I respond quickly and then debate on how to tell her I won’t be responding anymore to her. It’s not fair to my wife and now that I’ve left the company, there’s no reason to have any type of relationship with her.
What about what happened?
I stare at the text on my phone as the lights in my car dim, signaling me to leave. She follows up the question with another that makes my stomach churn. He knows about what happened and you know he won’t let it go. He’ll hang this over your head until he gets what he wants.
My brow knits as I read the message. I don’t give a shit what he knows or what he wants. For a moment, I think maybe she’s messaging the wrong person. I settle on my response.
I have nothing to give him.
He knows about us, Evan.
I stare at the text message, letting it sink in.
You told him? I ask her, my gaze shifting from the phone to the lit townhouse building off the busy city street. The lights are on in her office and the living room. So close. She’s so close.
My phone vibrates in my hand and I look back down to see her response. He’s known for years.
My hand clenches tight as I realize he’s been playing me. He’s never let on that he knew I fucked his wife.
My first instinct is to blame Sam. You didn’t tell me you told him, I text and then hate myself for it. I didn’t know she was married; we were both high and I wanted any excuse to end things with Kat.
I didn’t think he cared.
It was years ago. So now what? I swallow the ball of heat rising in my throat. It doesn’t change anything. If he wants to be pissed, he can be pissed.