Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 84829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Problem was, I wasn’t doing so hot without it.
I tore my eyes away to get a good look at my sister. She’d flown in with the kids for the weekend. Both of us had stayed close to home since my father had passed, both worried about Mom adjusting to life on her own. On that front, we needn’t have. Midge was handling it better than I was.
“When’s John flying in?”
When she didn’t answer right away, I threw Dev a sideways glance. A few rogue gray hairs along her hairline were the only hint she was older by five years. And the responsible one now. That hadn’t always been the case. Not so long ago she was the wild one, going from one boyfriend to another––something that used to drive Franklin batshit crazy––until she met John. Until she ran him over with her bicycle on her way to class and broke his arm. It so happened he was the TA of that class.
“Late tonight. They’re going public in a few days and he’s working out the kinks on the latest update.”
John had engineered his first app and sold it when he was still in grad school at Stanford. By the time he hit twenty-five, he’d made a fortune and was on his way to making more. My father had always been disparaging of John’s success because, according to Mr. Subtlety, most Silicon Valley success stories were “total bullshit” and would eventually be revealed as such. I’d liked John from the get-go. He was a decent guy who loved my sister and put up with her family. Mostly, I liked him because he didn’t give a precious fuck about earning my father’s approval.
“How does Mom know?”
Devyn hooked a lock of chin-length hair behind her ear and sipped her wine. “She spoke to Sydney.”
Not the answer I wanted, but the one I was anticipating. I returned to gazing at the bottom of my tumbler of Macallan.
“I didn’t know they were close.”
“You didn’t? How surprising.” Her delivery was so dry it forced me to take another drink. “Remember when Mom found the breast lump four years ago?”
I vaguely recalled it, but nodded nonetheless.
“I can see by the blank stare you don’t. Anyway––” my sister chided. “Carly had the chicken pox. It was bad, too. So nasty. Much worse than when Fallon had it, so I couldn’t leave her with John. He’s hopeless when it comes to illness. And Dad is…was––” she corrected, catching her mistake. She made a face, like remembering Dad hurt. “Dad was worse. He couldn’t stand to see Mom look vulnerable. So it was Sydney who went with her to get the biopsy. She took her to all her doctor’s visits.”
The news sunk down to my gut and threw a party. I felt sick. Even worse, it sounded like something Sydney would do. Quietly. Without fanfare or needing to take credit.
“It’s been a load off my mind to know she was here for them––” In the pause I could feel my sister watching me, the side of my face burning from her examination. “You know I love you, little brother––”
Here it comes, I thought and smiled bitterly. Those words never preceded anything good.
“But if you can’t forgive and forget, you have to cut her loose. You have to give her a divorce. It’s not fair to her.”
“Why aren’t you mad?” I pinched the bridge of my nose where the pressure was building.
“Who is there to be mad at? Dad? I mean, let’s be real, I loved him to pieces, but he was an asshole most of his life. It makes sense he’d be an asshole right up to the end. This is so like him––”
That got a chuckle out of me.
“––I don’t get you. Mom knew and I don’t see you upset at her. You’re not threatening to never speak to her again.”
I glanced at my mother who was still heavily immersed in her game of cards with my thirteen-year-old niece.
“I can’t believe you guys taught Fallon how to play poker.”
“She taught herself, dude.” Dev shook her head. “It’s a strange new world out there. Be glad you don’t have kids.”
An image of Sydney dancing in the kitchen in Wyoming with a baby in her arms slammed into me so hard and fast it made my heart brace. I sat up stiffly and ditched what was left of my drink on the coffee table while Devyn eyeballed me.
“You alright?”
“No.” Placing my elbows on my knees, thumb running along my bottom lip, I let the idea sink in. It felt right. It felt so right I wanted to hold onto the image with both hands and never let it go. Sydney with a baby. Then I thought of her having a baby with someone else and I nearly lost my mind.
Heat spread from my chest, up my neck, and down my legs. It made me realize how cold I’d been the past month. Not seeing her, not talking to her, not touching her had left me cold and on the verge of going numb.