Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 60965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
“There’s a difference between what you’ve been thinking I’d do and what I’ve really been doing, sweetheart.” I speak just above a murmur. My breathing picks up along with hers, and her nails dig into the shirt on my chest. She’s not pushing me away; she’s holding me right where I am. I’m just as close to her as I wanted to be.
“You think I’m a bad man in that pretty little head of yours, but you fell in love with me. With the real me and there’s no hiding from that.” I run the tip of my nose from her cheek to her temple, breathing in her scent. Her small body is so hot against mine. Her rapid pants only aid in making me hard as fuck for her.
“I’ll never stop loving you.” I speak so low, I’m not sure she hears. I open my eyes and stare at the wall, realizing how fucked up this is, aching over it, but unable to let her go. I’m too afraid of losing her forever. I won’t let it happen.
“Just do it, Mason.” Jules nearly chokes on her words, and I have to look down into her eyes to see the defiance there. She’s pushing me. She knows I’ll never hurt her. It’s so fucking obvious, and the realization makes me smile slightly.
“Do what?” I ask.
“Whatever you want with me,” she says, although her gaze drops to my chest with nothing but defeat in her eyes. “Or let your father kill me.”
“Is that what you want?”
“You won’t let me leave,” is the only answer she gives me.
“That doesn’t answer my question.” My heart pounds in protest at the question: Would she really rather die than love me again?
Jules looks away, turning her head to the side even as I grip her nape tighter. I pull back slightly, forcing her to look at me.
“That would make it easy for you, wouldn’t it?” I ask, hearing my own voice crack. I nip her earlobe with my teeth and wait a moment for her to answer, but all I can hear is the combined sound of our heavy breathing. “It would be so easy to hate me if I were the monster you want to believe I am.” I struggle with how true my words are. “If I wasn’t the man you fell in love with, but I am.”
I kiss the side of her neck, my fingers trailing along her skin and pulling her sleep shirt up slowly. My body’s so close to hers but I don’t touch her, because I want her to feel my absence. I want her to crave how I make her feel.
I trail the words down her neck, whispering against her skin. “All I want is for you to remember how much I love you and how much you love me.”
I want her to beg for my touch again, just like she did when we first met. I know she will. She needs me just as much as I need her. “Give me one month.” I speak without thinking, desperate for a change between us. “One month of just pretending. Of trying to forget or forgive and going back to what we once had.”
She peers up at me with a brightness in her eyes, but they narrow with distrust. I add, “If you hate me still at the end of the month, I’ll let you go.” I can barely speak the pained words, but I push out the offering.
My heart beats hard in my chest, knowing it’s a lie. But it’s something she can hold on to. It’s a deal with the devil for her, and I’m sure she knows it.
She doesn’t reply, and I couldn’t give a fuck so long as tomorrow things have changed for us.
My strides are heavy as I leave her to grab the ring from where it lays, once again on the floor. She stares at it rather than at me when I take her hand. “I’m the same man I was when I first put this ring on your finger.” I slide the diamond on her ring finger and hold it there, waiting for her eyes to reach mine.
I lean in and breathe in her scent, closing my eyes and forcing myself to let go of her. “Don’t take it off, Jules. That ring will stay on your finger.” I watch as her eyes close and her chest rises. “I’ll make sure of it.”
Jules
The mind plays tricks,
It likes to deceive.
What once brought you joy,
Will now make you grieve.
What to think, what to do,
When there’s no easy way out.
When your heart’s torn and broken,
And all you know is doubt.
I wish a hot shower could wash it all away. As if the steam and heat could cleanse the burden of knowing what Mason did nearly a year ago. So long ago, when we were both two different people. When we were both strangers to each other.