Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 60965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
He gives them a tight smile and nods, his deep voice sending a soothing wave through me as he shoves his hands in his pockets and watches them leave.
As soon as the door shuts, he looks back at me, consuming me the way he does with his full attention as comes to the bar, close to me. Close enough to touch.
I lick my lips and scoot forward on the stool, my left knee brushing his right. “Mason,” I say, whispering his name with a reverence I’m not sure he hears or recognizes, but his eyes look the same way they did months ago when I first left him. Raw and vulnerable. Emotional.
He can hide a lot of things from me, and I won’t deny that because it’s the absolute truth. But I can see the pain and love in his gaze when he looks at me like this.
I know that’s real. He can’t ever hide that from me.
“Jules,” he says and Mason’s voice is low. Too low. Panic drifts into my veins. It courses through me as he reaches out to run his fingers down my hair before resting his large hand on my thigh. His thumb runs back and forth in soothing strokes, but there’s something about the way he’s looking at me, something off about his body language. Something I don’t like.
“I never should have put you through all this, Jules.”
My heart clenches, feeling so constricted that I can’t fathom the amount of pain I’m feeling. He’s letting me go. He gave me hope, walking through the door. No! No! Go back to the hope. We have hope. We don’t have everything but we have hope, don’t we? The words tangle over themselves in the back of my throat.
“I never should have,” he says then swallows before continuing, “I never should have killed him. I’m sorry.” All I can do is shake my head slightly as I listen to Mason. It was a mistake, an unforgivable sin. An act that ruined my life. But he had his reasons. I can’t deny that it was wrong, but so much was wrong. The pieces fell, and there was blood on everyone’s hands.
“I was a different man then. I didn’t know you yet, and I can’t ever take it back.” Mason pulls his hand away, and the warmth and comfort of his touch vanishes, replaced by a sudden chill.
“I fell in love with you and I’d do anything to keep you, but I know you don’t want that.
I hate myself as much as you hate me.”
He starts to turn away from me. To leave me like I’ve wanted since I learned the truth, but my body comes to life, my blood a mix of anxiety and depression. I grip Mason’s hand as I stumble off the stool, the damn thing nearly toppling over.
“Don’t you dare leave me,” I say. My voice comes out raw as tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I refuse to take my hands from his to wipe under my eyes.
Never.
He’s as much mine as I am his. I refuse to let him go.
His expression changes as he registers my words. “Don’t you ever leave me again,” I tell him with a strength formed from panic. Please, please God, don’t let him deny me.
“I need you.” The hot tears fall to my lips and I try to swallow, but it hurts too much. Everything hurts as I stand before the man I love, knowing it’s wrong. Knowing he broke me, ruined me and then showed me how fucked up love can be. The only cruel thing left for him to do to me would be to leave me like this. To throw me away after everything we’ve been through.
“There’s hope, isn’t there?” I say. “I love you,” I whisper with complete conviction.
Just as I part my lips to confess every emotion in me to him, he crashes his lips against mine, filling my chest with a warm flow of desire and completion. My lips are hard at first, caught off guard, but I’m quick to mold them to his, spearing my fingers through his hair as his hand splays at the small of my back, both of us deepening the kiss, both of us wanting more.
“Mason.” I moan his name as he breaks the kiss, my eyes still closed as our hot breath mingles between us.
“Just hold me. I love you,” I tell him and bury my head into his hard chest. He wraps his strong arms around me as his warmth consumes me and kisses my hair over and over. This is where I belong, I know it is.
“I love you,” he says and it’s all I need.
I love Mason. And he loves me.
Epilogue
Jules
Jules
Deceit is pretty,
The truth is better than the lie.
Its beauty lurks in darkness,
It’s gorgeous in ways you can’t deny.