Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 61563 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61563 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 308(@200wpm)___ 246(@250wpm)___ 205(@300wpm)
“Why are you worried?” I ask cautiously, tapping my nails along the side of the cup and removing the thoughts of that infidelity from my mind. “It’s nothing serious.” I bite the inside of my cheek; even to me, that sounded like a lie.
“That right there,” Sue says as she leans back and points her finger at me. “I worry that you don’t know what casual dating is or how to act with a fuck buddy, or whatever this is for Mason.”
If they could hear the way my heart protests, she’d be doubly worried.
I clear my throat and spit out my next words. “He said he could give me more so it’s not exactly just for fun.” The tips of my fingers tingle and then go numb as both Sue and Maddie stare at me for a moment. Say something.
“What?” Maddie interjects, scooting her stool closer to the table. Her pink dress is pulled tight across her breasts as she leans forward and says, “What did he mean by ‘more?’” She’s as giddy as a schoolgirl.
“Yeah, what the fuck did he mean by more?” Sue asks, her skepticism obvious. Even Kat looks up from her phone to listen. She’s barely said a word since sitting down other than to apologize for having to work and that she swears she’s listening. I suppose now she really is.
“I don’t know. I just ...” I stop and focus on Sue, my former cheerleader and the one I know I need to convince. “I was worried too,” I say, making sure I’m careful with my words, “and I told him that I didn’t know if I could handle ‘just sex’ because I would probably want more, and he said he could give me that.” I think back to that night just two weeks ago, or has it been more now? I’m fairly certain that’s what I said and how he answered. “It makes me feel secure, that I can be open about how I’m feeling and that he’s receptive to it.”
Maddie lets out a small sigh of satisfaction, like a young girl in puppy love. She’s the only one obviously happy about what I’ve said. Sue taps her nails rhythmically on the table and Kat hasn’t moved, still watching me like a hawk. Like I’m prey and she’s just circling in the skies above, waiting to strike.
“Can I just ask a question?” Kat says, setting down her phone and turning her full attention to me. “Why him? Are you sure you want more … and with him?”
“Okay … I didn’t expect that as the follow-up question.” It takes a moment for me to put my thoughts into words. “Mason is nothing like the man I should be with. But that man is gone and I’m not interested in replacing him.”
I take another sip of coffee, feeling defensive and like I’m not sure that I really want to even have this conversation.
“Are you wanting to settle down with him?” Kat asks and waits for me to look at her. “Like are you dating, dating?”
“I’m not settling down or replacing—” Jace’s name gets caught in my throat.
“Oh no, oh no.” Kat’s quick to correct herself, reaching out for me even though my hands are now clasped in my lap. “I didn’t mean … I don’t know what I mean.”
“Maybe he’s a rebound,” Sue chimes in with a shrug and then looks up at the menu on the other side of the room. The text is fairly large, but she’s not reading it. All four of us have that menu memorized. “It doesn’t have to be serious,” she says and the other two women all nod in agreement, but I’m certain it’s to placate me.
“Yeah,” I say noncommittally, holding up my coffee and looking back at Kat for her response. “What if he’s just a rebound?”
Kat picks up her phone again but she doesn’t look at it. She bites her lip and asks, “Can we meet him?”
“For fuck’s sake, Kat,” Sue says from across the table, practically glaring at her. “You don’t introduce a rebound to your friends.”
“Is that a rule?” Kat bites back. “He likes drinks, we like drinks, let’s all just have drinks.”
“It’s weird!” Sue’s brow is comically raised as she stares back at Kat like she can’t be serious. “Just let her do what she wants to do,” she says and Sue’s last sentence is hushed.
“I’d like to meet him,” Maddie says with a sweet, innocent tone. Staring at each one of my friends in turn, I know they’re all looking out for me. All nervous like I was weeks ago.
“I’ve got this,” I say to all three of them at once. “It’s just sex, but there’s a level of respect and understanding.” I nod my head. “That’s what the more is.”
A soft sigh leaves me and I feel like I’ve fixed my nonexistent problem. That’s exactly what this is. “It’s just a mutually beneficial arrangement with respect, and sex of course.”