Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
“Which is obviously not true,” Coach said, thumping my shoulder. I wouldn’t say that it was sort of true, given Spencer’s initial response to the news. But I still thought my dad’s idea was ill-advised. Especially since it should’ve been my decision to make, not his.
“So I kept it secret all through high school and part of college. Coach knows, of course, and so does Spence, but it’s getting harder to keep it to myself. What I experienced is part of who I am, and I want more than ever to just be my true self.” In more ways than one. I took a deep breath. “Sometimes our parents mean well, but in the end, it’s really up to us, isn’t it? To make something of our lives and try to find happiness?”
When there was a murmur of assent from my teammates and coaches, I felt like they got it. Flash mouthed, “Sorry, dude,” and I nodded, knowing he meant it.
So maybe…maybe I could say the rest of it too, about me and Lark.
“Anything else you want to share?” Coach asked me.
My voice shook when I replied, “Just one more thing.” My heart was beating out of my chest. What the hell was I doing? I had given me and Lark an actual out now to be friends. Wasn’t that enough?
Somehow it didn’t feel like it. I wanted everyone in the universe to know how I felt about him. How much I wanted to be with him—openly. To hold his hand anytime I wanted to.
I looked at my teammates, my friends, who were more like a dysfunctional family, hoping they would understand and accept all of it. All of me.
I opened my mouth to push the words out, but my eyesight grew spotty, and the ground swayed beneath my feet. I reached out my hand to find purchase, my fingertips fumbling to grip Coach’s bicep. It didn’t help as my knees gave out and the world went black.
When I heard a steady whirring sound, I opened my eyes and stared at the unfamiliar, enclosed space. There was a mask against my mouth and nose, the vehicle was bumping along the road, and that was when I realized I was in the back of an ambulance.
I immediately tried to sit up, but a paramedic pinned my shoulder down. “You’ll have to stay still.”
“What…what happened?” My voice sounded thick and distorted.
“You passed out on the football field.”
“You’ll be okay, Henners.” It was Coach’s voice, his hand reaching out to pat my arm. “We’ll just get you checked out at the hospital.”
I shook my head. “Can’t go to the hospital…”
Never want to go to the hospital again.
“We’re almost there,” the paramedic said. “Just try to remain calm.”
“No.” I glanced at Coach. “My parents…”
“Are on their way.”
Fuck, they were going to freak out. I inhaled sharply through my nose, trying to rein in my panicky gasps, but it only escalated and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I tried to rip the mask off my face and get the fuck out of there.
The paramedic hovered over me. “Your blood pressure is high. Take some deep breaths.”
The world went black again.
Next time I woke up, I was in a bed with rails, behind a curtain, with voices filtering in from the other side. I was obviously in the emergency room.
“You passed out on the football field.”
“It’s so good to see you awake,” Mom said. “Apparently, you were hyperventilating, which was taxing your system, so resting was a good idea.”
She was seated in a chair beside me, and my dad was standing against the wall, looking way too bulky in the small space. Or maybe I just had the sensation that the walls were closing in on me.
“Why…what?” I asked, trying to get my brain to line up with my mouth.
“We’re waiting for the on-call doctor—oh, here he is.” Mom stood as a short man in a white coat stepped inside, holding a tablet device, so he probably had my chart pulled up. I’d been in enough hospitals to know the drill.
“How are you feeling, young man?” he asked as he approached.
“Fine. I don’t need to be here. We can just go—”
“Whoa, hold on there.” He pressed on my shoulder. “Fainting can be a symptom of something more serious. I’ve looked over your medical history, and we need to investigate what’s going on.”
Dad swallowed audibly, as if his worst nightmare was coming true. Coach had informed my parents and ridden in the ambulance with me, so maybe Dad already knew that I’d passed out while telling the team my truths. Or at least one of them.
“Now that you’re awake, let’s go over your symptoms.” He tapped something on the tablet. “Tell me what you were feeling right before you lost consciousness.”
“Okay, um…my chest felt tight, I was clammy, and I couldn’t control my breathing.”