Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
“As soon as Flash mentioned flowers, I knew. And then your expression as you were leaving…”
“Yeah…thanks for checking on me. I’ll be okay. This had been happening lately.”
“What has?”
Should I admit it to him? But really, he was the only who would understand.
“My chest feels funny, and I get all hot and clammy. I’ve also had night sweats a couple of times.” More than a couple of times. He grew scarily silent. “Lark? Still there?”
“Yeah, of course.” He cleared his throat. “Have you told your parents?”
“No. Hell, no. I just have to get through this season. A lot of people are counting on me.”
“Football is not more important than your health.” He made a frustrated sound. “You of all people should know that.”
“Obviously, you’re right. And I promise, if these symptoms keep happening, I’ll schedule a doctor’s appointment as soon as the season’s over.”
“Fuck,” he said under his breath. “What were your friends saying to you?”
“They mentioned the recital and me bringing you flowers.”
“I had a feeling that would happen. What did you say?”
“I told them that’s what friends do when they support each other.” My words rang hollow even though it was true. “I wish I could be as brave as you.”
“Hey.” His voice was suddenly closer, so he must’ve leaned his head against the outside of the door. “You are brave. You can’t help the pressure from your parents. I wish they would make it easier on you.”
“Yeah, me too.”
In a wobbly voice, Lark asked, “Did you mean what you wrote on the card?”
“With all my heart,” I replied without hesitation.
Lark sighed dreamily. “I want that too.”
It felt like my skin was too tight for my body as a swarm of butterflies kicked up in my stomach.
When the door opened and more voices carried into the bathroom, Lark said a quiet goodbye and left.
On cue, as if to fuck with me even more, my phone buzzed with a text from Dad.
Son, we need to talk.
What the hell? Could he have heard already? But the timing was suspicious. Now I felt like I wanted to puke.
I made myself ask: About what?
I held my breath as I waited for his response. It seemed to take ten hours.
You know perfectly well.
Jesus fucking Christ, was he serious?
There’s nothing to talk about. Gotta get to class.
I waited a minute before leaving the stall, my stomach still roiling.
33
LARK
“What’s wrong, honey?” Mom asked me.
“Huh?” It was Friday after school, and I was at the table with my laptop open. It was used and slow to upload anything, but no way could we afford an upgrade. I was saving up my paychecks from the junkyard for a rainy day. There were bound to be plenty.
“You were staring off into space.” She slid down next to me and lifted my hand. “Plus, you’ve been chewing your fingers raw again. That always means something’s bothering you.”
I sighed. “I’ve started doing meditation with a free app Leah recommended, but I’m only two sessions in and haven’t been able to go deep yet. Too much on my mind.”
“Maybe you should also start seeing a therapist. We’ve been remiss not doing it sooner.”
“You know we can’t afford that.”
“I looked into it. My insurance will cover the first few appointments, and we can figure the rest out after that. One of the hostesses at the diner said she does online sessions, which helps with transportation. Let’s at least look into it.”
My heart was in my throat. Maybe I should. “Okay. But I still want to try the meditation thing.”
“It wouldn’t hurt.” She kissed my cheek. “So…what’s bothering you? Is it Henry?”
“Sort of? Him showing up at my recital with flowers is causing all sorts of rumors.”
“Suppose I’m not surprised.” She frowned. “And he’s not out, right?”
I hadn’t told Mom about what the two of us had been up to, but she could obviously guess.
“Not even close. And no way he wants to be yet, so he’s beating himself up about it.”
“The poor dear. I hope it’s not impacting his health. The mind and body have a strange way of affecting each other.”
I wouldn’t mention how concerned I was about finding Henry hiding in the bathroom, and I hoped I was wrong about his symptoms. He needed to get checked out, but no way was I going to nag him about it.
“Yeah, I hear you. I’m going to keep a close watch on him.”
“Good idea. Invite him over more.” She winked. “We like having him around.”
“Maybe I will.”
Mom got ready for work, and just as Star and I were about to start playing a board game, she picked Star up and embraced her. “I’ll see you in the morning, young lady. Be good for your brother.”
I stood and walked her to the door, getting last-minute suggestions about what to make for dinner. When she stepped outside, I noticed Pete over her shoulder. “Hey, you!”