Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 87961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“Tor,” he grates. His voice makes all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He looks up at me and gestures me over. The angry and abused girl in me wants to hurt Bob. The rational side of me says it won’t help, but I’m so fucking tired of feeling like a victim, of feeling weak in this place where monsters pretend to be men. So I take the first step toward him.
“Ria…” Caleb starts. I glance at him, and his expression is filled with pity. I don’t want his pity. “You don’t have to do this. Let me do it for you.”
“Caleb, out!” he snaps. I focus on Jude’s face, on his dark green eyes that always seem so bottomless. Something passes between us, an understanding, a matching need for revenge, an outlet to purge the rage and hate. I’ve been blaming him for what happened, but I know it wasn’t him. His only crime is leaving me. The man currently choking and gasping for breath, he’s the animal here.
I close the distance to Jude and kneel down beside Bob’s thrashing body. Jude’s eyes never leave mine as he carefully places the knife in my palm with a nod. He may be violent, he may be a criminal, but he understands what I need, and he’s giving me the means to take back my own power. He can’t give it to me, though, I have to take it.
My pulse speeds as I shakily hold out the blade toward Bob’s chest. My hand won’t still, and I close my eyes as I try to control my nerves. I feel warm fingers wrap around my hand, stilling it. When I open my eyes, Jude is right there with me. He guides my hand to Bob’s chest, pressing the tip into his skin before slowly dragging my hand down, and the blade with it.
Bob screams, and there’s a certain satisfaction in it that both thrills and scares me. I feel as though by inflicting pain on him, I’m being relieved of my own; it’s almost cleansing.
Blood wells and spills down his sides. I want to hate myself for this, I want to hate Jude for turning me into this, but I can’t. I didn’t do this, I became this.
When Jude lifts the knife away from Bob’s skin, I release the breath I didn’t realise I had been holding. He lets go of my hand, and I numbly drop the knife, watching it to clatter to the floor. Suddenly, Jude grabs onto Bob’s throat, squeezing to the point that it literally looks as if his eyes will pop from his skull at any moment. “Caleb!” he shouts.
The door cracks open and Caleb pokes his head around the door. “Take Tor outside,” Jude grates through gritted teeth.
“Jude,” Caleb starts.
“Take her the fuck out!” he shouts. I glance between the two of them as a tense, silence takes hold. Caleb breaks first, gently wrapping his fingers around my arm and pulling me from the room. I glance over my shoulder, looking back at Jude as his eyes fix on Bob who is still struggling against his hold.
The door slams shut behind me, and all I can hear is the echo of my footsteps. I’m halfway to the next door when I hear a loud gunshot ring out behind me, followed by another. I flinch, and my hands start shaking. I know Jude just killed Bob. One look at his face and I knew there was no way Bob was getting out of that room alive. Jude is not someone to double cross. Bob hurt me and he killed him for it. Part of me knows that he doesn’t deserve my gratitude, and yet I can’t help but feel some towards him. I’m no longer just veering from my path, I’m crashing and burning, and like the masochist he makes me, I’m reveling in the flames.
I don’t know who I am anymore or what I’m becoming. I just took a knife to a man, and I liked cutting him. It felt cleansing to me, and that’s depraved in so many ways. By the time I reach the door at the end I’m shaking, my knees threatening to buckle. I glance down at my hands, and they are covered in blood. For the first time in my life, they are covered in blood because I was harming someone, not saving them.
I small sob rips up my throat, and tears slip down my cheeks. I’ve become the very thing I’ve always feared, because as of this moment...death no longer affects me. I feel nothing except the loss of myself. My knees give out and I drop to the floor.
“Ria!” Caleb rushes to my side, but I push him away.
“No.” I whisper. I don’t want Caleb to see this. He still sees good in me, and his faith is so misplaced. I glance up at him and meet his concerned eyes. “I’m sorry. You’re not a monster,” I cry. How could I ever think he was a monster? He’s just a kid.